Coping with an out of control teen won't change the situation
Many parents resort to just coping with a troubled teenager--ignore him/her and the problem will go away. But it doesn't! In reality this kind of behavior doesn't simply go away. More often than not, it just gets worse.
A most stressful time for you as a parent
One of life's most stressful times often occurs during that exasperating period known as the teen age--it is often 7 years of pure hell. And there you are, frustrated and clueless as to how to eradicate this bizarre behavior.
At times you must wish for some magic potion that would suddenly turn them into adults. Well the solution doesn't reside in a bottle of pills, but there is hope and I'll get into that in a moment.
If you are experiencing disrespect, you probably have seen it appear in many forms. What is needed is to discover the causes (yes there are probably multiple causes) of this behavior. No doubt you wonder whatever happened to your once loveable child. How did your child become so irritable, seemingly uncontrollable alien.
Does your teenager have an identity crisis?
Psychologists tell us that with some teens, the problems are rooted in a kind of identity crisis. Your child didn't become this possessed creature overnight. Is the problem an "identity crisis?" Is your teenager obsessed with trying to figure out just who he/she really is? Is the child wondering what the future holds? "What's to become of me?"
Many times the child is feeling resentment for the life he/she has lived up to that point and is struggling to escape it. Well we can't change the past but we as parents can paint a picture of a brighter future. What the child needs most when life's pressures seem unbearable is your love and compassion. And granted…that's a tough order when the child is screaming at you.
Resentment can develop from several root causes--one is "being treated as a child."
Yes, teenage life is 7 years long and for you it may seem like 70. A good parent wants the best for the child--get good grades in school, get into a good college and start a healthy, productive life--even at the risk of seeming over-protective. But most rebellious teens really don't give a damn about the future…they want to feel good NOW!
Along the way you must have established certain ground rules.
You and I know how important this is for natural growth among us human beings. But have you considered allowing the child to have a say when rules are put down? Giving the child more say in how the family operates will often cool some of the rebelliousness. Of course this has to be tempered with good judgment.
You can begin this drill by explaining that when you were a child you set certain ground rules and set basic goals for yourself. You at least considered just who you wanted to be. Your child needs the opportunity to do the same thing--put chances are the child won't think of it by him or herself.
Offer advice in the form of suggestions--not demands. You became that person…and so will your child become the person he/she dreams of being.
Here are a few basic tips for you to implement.
These will at least create a dialog between you and your teen. These tips will work in most circumstances but you must be consistent and follow through:
<b?6 tips for recovery of a battle-zone-free home:
1. Avoid nagging or lecturing the child. When misbehavior occurs--point it out while being calm and understanding. And of course yelling to make a point only increases the tension between you.
2. Avoid being argumentative at all costs. Neither side ever wins an argument. Give the child support and understanding.
3. Empower your child by assigning certain simple responsibilities.
4. Every action taken by an individual has consequences--including teenage behavior. These consequences may be good or bad. The idea is to instill in the child the need to take a moment to think about the possible outcome of his or her actions.
5. Open lines of communications with your teenager. If it has fallen victim to current practice, then re-establish the family dinner. Face to face conversation can soothe the anger and resentment.
6. Give your teenager a measure of respect. You expect it from him or her. Be generous and dole it out whenever they do something worth praising.
You will find all sorts of information on the Internet about parenting but a great deal of it is outdated. What may have worked a short time ago is in dire need of new, fresh ideas. We live now in an i-pod, i-pad, texting cellphone society so be certain you are getting guidance from a source that keeps up with the times.
Below is a link to my friend Norbert Georget's personal website where he will fill you in on his book, "No Nonsense Parenting." I was most impressed by the many real-life testimonials he has received. If you are really sincere in your search for help with an unruly teen, Norbert has the answers. Get this report in an immediate download and begin the road to recovery today! Click HERE ===> No Nonsense Parenting
</b?6>
Many parents resort to just coping with a troubled teenager--ignore him/her and the problem will go away. But it doesn't! In reality this kind of behavior doesn't simply go away. More often than not, it just gets worse.
A most stressful time for you as a parent
One of life's most stressful times often occurs during that exasperating period known as the teen age--it is often 7 years of pure hell. And there you are, frustrated and clueless as to how to eradicate this bizarre behavior.
At times you must wish for some magic potion that would suddenly turn them into adults. Well the solution doesn't reside in a bottle of pills, but there is hope and I'll get into that in a moment.
If you are experiencing disrespect, you probably have seen it appear in many forms. What is needed is to discover the causes (yes there are probably multiple causes) of this behavior. No doubt you wonder whatever happened to your once loveable child. How did your child become so irritable, seemingly uncontrollable alien.
Does your teenager have an identity crisis?
Psychologists tell us that with some teens, the problems are rooted in a kind of identity crisis. Your child didn't become this possessed creature overnight. Is the problem an "identity crisis?" Is your teenager obsessed with trying to figure out just who he/she really is? Is the child wondering what the future holds? "What's to become of me?"
Many times the child is feeling resentment for the life he/she has lived up to that point and is struggling to escape it. Well we can't change the past but we as parents can paint a picture of a brighter future. What the child needs most when life's pressures seem unbearable is your love and compassion. And granted…that's a tough order when the child is screaming at you.
Resentment can develop from several root causes--one is "being treated as a child."
Yes, teenage life is 7 years long and for you it may seem like 70. A good parent wants the best for the child--get good grades in school, get into a good college and start a healthy, productive life--even at the risk of seeming over-protective. But most rebellious teens really don't give a damn about the future…they want to feel good NOW!
Along the way you must have established certain ground rules.
You and I know how important this is for natural growth among us human beings. But have you considered allowing the child to have a say when rules are put down? Giving the child more say in how the family operates will often cool some of the rebelliousness. Of course this has to be tempered with good judgment.
You can begin this drill by explaining that when you were a child you set certain ground rules and set basic goals for yourself. You at least considered just who you wanted to be. Your child needs the opportunity to do the same thing--put chances are the child won't think of it by him or herself.
Offer advice in the form of suggestions--not demands. You became that person…and so will your child become the person he/she dreams of being.
Here are a few basic tips for you to implement.
These will at least create a dialog between you and your teen. These tips will work in most circumstances but you must be consistent and follow through:
<b?6 tips for recovery of a battle-zone-free home:
1. Avoid nagging or lecturing the child. When misbehavior occurs--point it out while being calm and understanding. And of course yelling to make a point only increases the tension between you.
2. Avoid being argumentative at all costs. Neither side ever wins an argument. Give the child support and understanding.
3. Empower your child by assigning certain simple responsibilities.
4. Every action taken by an individual has consequences--including teenage behavior. These consequences may be good or bad. The idea is to instill in the child the need to take a moment to think about the possible outcome of his or her actions.
5. Open lines of communications with your teenager. If it has fallen victim to current practice, then re-establish the family dinner. Face to face conversation can soothe the anger and resentment.
6. Give your teenager a measure of respect. You expect it from him or her. Be generous and dole it out whenever they do something worth praising.
You will find all sorts of information on the Internet about parenting but a great deal of it is outdated. What may have worked a short time ago is in dire need of new, fresh ideas. We live now in an i-pod, i-pad, texting cellphone society so be certain you are getting guidance from a source that keeps up with the times.
Below is a link to my friend Norbert Georget's personal website where he will fill you in on his book, "No Nonsense Parenting." I was most impressed by the many real-life testimonials he has received. If you are really sincere in your search for help with an unruly teen, Norbert has the answers. Get this report in an immediate download and begin the road to recovery today! Click HERE ===> No Nonsense Parenting
</b?6>