Do You Order Dessert? Your Relationship With Money

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My husband loves to go out to dinner and order drinks and dessert along with his meal. He likes to live comfortably, with no limits. He thinks he deserves it. I use to cringe and think, "Can't you just stick to dinner, why all the extras?" But that is why we build this home business, so that we can have a life where we won't have to think twice about the extras. So I needed to learn to release the fears that stand in my way and upgrade my attitude about money so we could create a life we desire. And to my husband that means ordering dessert!

I have had to change my thoughts and beliefs about money. I was living with the mentality of scarcity and that money is something that needs to be used sparingly. This can be a good thing in that we don't have credit card debt. But I needed to find release from my limiting belief system and honor the abundance in my life. I needed to develop a new relationship with money.

Money is only a resource. It's not good or bad. It's just a piece of paper to which we have assigned a value. What personal value we give to money tends to be a reflection of what we regard as desirable and worthy. This value is often associated with our upbringing. Think about your most significant memory about money from your childhood. Does it result in pleasant feelings or thoughts of uneasiness?

For many, the memories play out like this -

"We can't afford that."

"Money controls the things I do or don't do in my life."

"Money doesn't grow on tree; it's hard to come by."

"My purchasing decisions are primarily based upon the cost of the item."

We tend to deal with money emotionally. Thus money means different things to different people. What is your emotional relationship with money? Do you love it, do you hate it, do you fear it?

Take some time to evaluate your money attitudes. An attitude is the "tendency, feeling, or orientation of your mind toward something." So what is your position on money? Is it what you want it to be? Do you even know? The degree to which you don't understand money, is the degree to which it will always be an issue for you. Billy Graham is quoted as saying, "If a person gets his attitude toward money straight, it will help straighten out almost every other area in his life."

You may want to journalize for a week how you react when the topic of money comes up. How does it make you FEEL?

Secure or Helpless

Successful or Limited

Empowered or Powerless

In control or Choiceless

Confident or Anxious

Accomplished or Struggling

Did you find yourself relating to the words "helpless," "limited," or "anxious," when I asked you to evaluate your money attitude? Money can be a consistent source of tension. But we need to stop thinking of it as something we always have to chase after. Do you believe that money is hard to come by? Do you think you'll have to wait until the money flows in abundance before you'll feel comfortable spending it?

You may need to change your thinking and shift your attitude about money. A positive relationship with money offers freedom and choices. Change how you relate to money and increase your sense of well-being, as well as your wealth.

Begin to focus your thoughts on abundance. Believe that you will always have enough of what you need. Be grateful for what you do have and don't direct your thoughts to the money you don't have but wish you did. That only highlights the deficiencies. Stop complaining about not having enough but rather express your appreciation for all that you do have. Empower yourself by beginning to think with an abundant mindset.

One of my favorite exercises is to carry a $100 bill in your wallet or purse and go browse the mall. Begin to look at all the things that the $100 could buy. Tell yourself, "I CAN afford that, I have a $100 in purse." You don't have to actually spend it but train your mind to know that you could if you chose to. Again, it is practicing the development of a mindset of abundance and that money freely flows your way.

Author Karl Moore, states that "money represents the value you place on things – including yourself. If money isn't flowing as you want, look at how you value yourself." Do you have confidence in your abilities? Do you believe you are deserving of success?

Many people dream of having money, they wish for it. But it is hard for them to break through the limiting thoughts that keep one from magnetizing all the abundance they deserve. If your underlying belief is that it will never happen to you, then it won't. Stop thinking thoughts of lack and limitation and begin to focus on abundance in your life. Then be sure to show gratitude for that abundance (even before it arrives).

So when someone asks you, "Do you want dessert?" The resounding answer is, "Of course I do!"
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