Things To Consider Before You Agree To Care For A Loved One Suffering From Dementia
I think it's pretty safe to say that we all want the best for our loved ones, and we generally tend to assume that no one will care for that loved one as well as we can.
But dementia is more than just a bit of short-term memory loss.
Dementia can and will impact the very personality of that aging parent or grandparent.
Indeed, the person you have known your entire life may not be the person you are inviting into your home.
And special consideration should be given as to whether or not your home is equipped to provide for them.
Physical Requirements: Are there are a lot of stairs in your home?Dementia can affect balance and equilibrium, not to mention strength.
If you live in a 2-story home, will your loved one be able to safely navigate the stairs?Or will they require assistance?If they require assistance, and their bedroom is on the second floor, you have just placed yourself in the position of having to provide 24 hour, round the clock, supervision and assistance.
Meal Preparation: Your loved one has been preparing their own meals for the past 50, 60, or 70 years.
Why shouldn't they be able to do so now?The truth is, while they are more than likely to recall how to cook a meal, it doesn't mean they can do so without supervision.
The problem lies in the severity of the short-term memory loss.
It is quite common for sufferers of dementia to forget they have something on the stove if they are even slightly distracted.
A phone call, or coming across an old photograph can completely distract them from the task at hand.
Medication: As our loved ones age, numerous medical conditions can arise that require medication.
And that medication regimen can be quite complex.
Some pills should be taken with food, some on an empty stomach.
One prescription can have 2 or 3 doses per day, while others are taken only at bedtime.
The monitoring of medication is critical for dementia patients.
What can complicate this further is an inability to recall if they have taken a medication.
And as the disease progresses, you may find that their ability to discern what medication should be taken disappears completely.
Consider; they have just taken a pain medication.
But five minutes later, they still hurt.
They have no memory of having already taken the pills, and so they go in search of more.
Even more frightening can be an inability to distinguish one medication from another.
The bottles all appear similar, for many the printing is just too small to make out, and so they take whatever is closest at hand.
From personal experience I know this is the case.
Just as you did when your children were small, all medications must be locked away.
But this is not a child.
They can reach where your children obviously could not.
And most childproof closures will be easily opened.
Securing medications is absolutely critical.
Lifestyle: Is your lifestyle truly compatible with the loved one you're bringing home?Bear in mind that for dementia sufferers' change is very difficult.
As their memory slips away, the new and unfamiliar can become increasingly disconcerting.
For instance, has that parent or grandparent spent the last 10 or 20 years living alone?If so, consider carefully before bringing them into an environment resounding with the enthusiasm and ruckus of bustling children.
The perpetual stillness and quiet of their previous environment will make them ill prepared for the constant sound and motion of their new environment.
Simple things like the closing of a door, or someone walking up the stairs will be enough to wake them from a sound sleep, and that seems to be a particularly vulnerable time because as they wake, they will likely fail to recognize their environment.
Imagine waking alone, in the dark, in a place you do not recognize, to strange and unfamiliar sounds.
That can be a terrifying experience for anyone.
Mood Swings: A common symptom of dementia is severe mood swings.
Without warning this pleasant, loving individual can lash out in anger or succumb to uncontrolled weeping.
In my experience, this was often associated with TIA's.
A TIA is a "warning stroke" or "mini-stroke" that produces stroke-like symptoms but no lasting damage.
However TIA's can produce wide fluctuations in blood pressure and bring on several days of unpredictable mood swings.
While adults can reason through to understand these mood swings, can your children?Are you prepared to subject your child to completely illogical complaints and expectations that have no rhyme or reason?And is your child of an age that he or she can comprehend the nature of these events and harbor no resentment or hurt feelings.
It is an admirable goal to seek to build a loving relationship between generations, but it is quite another to expect a child to respond with love to irrational anger and unreasonable expectations.
Progression of the Disease: Finally, regardless of your present circumstances, you must be prepared for the progression of the disease.
The level at which they function today may and probably will change over time.
It can be heart wrenching to make the determination that you can no longer care for that parent or grandparent.
And explaining to someone you have loved your entire life that they are no longer welcome to live with you can dredge up a host of painful emotions like guilt, anger and resentment.
It is here where you need to speak honestly and openly with your health care provider.
They can provide the stepping-stone to long-term care by interceding on your half behalf with both the dementia sufferer and other family members.
By pointing out the need for more intensive medical attention than anyone could hope to provide in a home environment, they can relieve you of that burden of guilt you've been shouldering for so long and help you to find a facility that can provide the care that you simply cannot.
But dementia is more than just a bit of short-term memory loss.
Dementia can and will impact the very personality of that aging parent or grandparent.
Indeed, the person you have known your entire life may not be the person you are inviting into your home.
And special consideration should be given as to whether or not your home is equipped to provide for them.
Physical Requirements: Are there are a lot of stairs in your home?Dementia can affect balance and equilibrium, not to mention strength.
If you live in a 2-story home, will your loved one be able to safely navigate the stairs?Or will they require assistance?If they require assistance, and their bedroom is on the second floor, you have just placed yourself in the position of having to provide 24 hour, round the clock, supervision and assistance.
Meal Preparation: Your loved one has been preparing their own meals for the past 50, 60, or 70 years.
Why shouldn't they be able to do so now?The truth is, while they are more than likely to recall how to cook a meal, it doesn't mean they can do so without supervision.
The problem lies in the severity of the short-term memory loss.
It is quite common for sufferers of dementia to forget they have something on the stove if they are even slightly distracted.
A phone call, or coming across an old photograph can completely distract them from the task at hand.
Medication: As our loved ones age, numerous medical conditions can arise that require medication.
And that medication regimen can be quite complex.
Some pills should be taken with food, some on an empty stomach.
One prescription can have 2 or 3 doses per day, while others are taken only at bedtime.
The monitoring of medication is critical for dementia patients.
What can complicate this further is an inability to recall if they have taken a medication.
And as the disease progresses, you may find that their ability to discern what medication should be taken disappears completely.
Consider; they have just taken a pain medication.
But five minutes later, they still hurt.
They have no memory of having already taken the pills, and so they go in search of more.
Even more frightening can be an inability to distinguish one medication from another.
The bottles all appear similar, for many the printing is just too small to make out, and so they take whatever is closest at hand.
From personal experience I know this is the case.
Just as you did when your children were small, all medications must be locked away.
But this is not a child.
They can reach where your children obviously could not.
And most childproof closures will be easily opened.
Securing medications is absolutely critical.
Lifestyle: Is your lifestyle truly compatible with the loved one you're bringing home?Bear in mind that for dementia sufferers' change is very difficult.
As their memory slips away, the new and unfamiliar can become increasingly disconcerting.
For instance, has that parent or grandparent spent the last 10 or 20 years living alone?If so, consider carefully before bringing them into an environment resounding with the enthusiasm and ruckus of bustling children.
The perpetual stillness and quiet of their previous environment will make them ill prepared for the constant sound and motion of their new environment.
Simple things like the closing of a door, or someone walking up the stairs will be enough to wake them from a sound sleep, and that seems to be a particularly vulnerable time because as they wake, they will likely fail to recognize their environment.
Imagine waking alone, in the dark, in a place you do not recognize, to strange and unfamiliar sounds.
That can be a terrifying experience for anyone.
Mood Swings: A common symptom of dementia is severe mood swings.
Without warning this pleasant, loving individual can lash out in anger or succumb to uncontrolled weeping.
In my experience, this was often associated with TIA's.
A TIA is a "warning stroke" or "mini-stroke" that produces stroke-like symptoms but no lasting damage.
However TIA's can produce wide fluctuations in blood pressure and bring on several days of unpredictable mood swings.
While adults can reason through to understand these mood swings, can your children?Are you prepared to subject your child to completely illogical complaints and expectations that have no rhyme or reason?And is your child of an age that he or she can comprehend the nature of these events and harbor no resentment or hurt feelings.
It is an admirable goal to seek to build a loving relationship between generations, but it is quite another to expect a child to respond with love to irrational anger and unreasonable expectations.
Progression of the Disease: Finally, regardless of your present circumstances, you must be prepared for the progression of the disease.
The level at which they function today may and probably will change over time.
It can be heart wrenching to make the determination that you can no longer care for that parent or grandparent.
And explaining to someone you have loved your entire life that they are no longer welcome to live with you can dredge up a host of painful emotions like guilt, anger and resentment.
It is here where you need to speak honestly and openly with your health care provider.
They can provide the stepping-stone to long-term care by interceding on your half behalf with both the dementia sufferer and other family members.
By pointing out the need for more intensive medical attention than anyone could hope to provide in a home environment, they can relieve you of that burden of guilt you've been shouldering for so long and help you to find a facility that can provide the care that you simply cannot.