Failure is such a super-charged word that I almost hesitate using it.
Yet, even when not acknowledged openly, it is often in the background of decision making.
Imagine how different life would be if failure was encouraged and expected.
If it was seen as a sign of growth and possibility? What if it was celebrated for what it was, a grand attempt towards something meaningful.
Fearing failure, many of us have lived lives of extreme caution.
We get good enough at one thing (whether we have passion for it or not) and settle down for the ride called Life.
Fear of failure keeps many brilliant minds holed up in secrecy never allowing their gifts to be revealed.
It is entirely possible that many people end up in passionless careers because the possibility of failure is not as intimidating when they are not doing what they really love anyways.
And if failure did happen where we feel passionless, the fall out would be minimal compared to what we may feel if we were pursuing a lifetime dream.
Imagine a world where our children were actually encouraged to try things and fail.
Where they were actually supported and celebrated in their failures just as much as they were celebrated and supported in their successes.
This may sound strange.
Even as we move closer to believing we have to face our fears of failure, we are often staggered by how that failure will be seen by our peers, community or loved ones (not necessarily in that particular order).
How many people do we know who hate their jobs but feels afraid to try what they love or even examine what they may love for fear of failure? How can we help our children embrace the process of experimentation that includes failure? As the adult, we MUST first take inventory regarding our own true feelings and experiences with failure.
We will not be persuasive on this topic if deep down we feel shame connected to our own instances of failure and then try to tell our children their failures are something to be proud of.
Energetic communication happens before verbal communication.
These two simple exercises will clarify your failure template: 1)Take a few moments to jot down some times you remember failing and how that experience impacted you.
How did the adults or friends in your life support (or not support) you through this experience? What feelings emerged through this failure? Did you try again, or did you give up? Do those past failures continue to play out in your present willingness to try new things? The more you know about the details of these experiences, the more helpful you can be when you engage your child in processing their own failures.
2) It can be helpful to have your child talk about their failure.
Have them write or tell a little story about their failure from a 3rd person perspective as if it had happened to a fictional character and what that character could do following the failure.
What was learned from the failure and how might it help them in the future? Help the child figure out their next step...
anything but giving up.
Giving up is the only true failure.
What failures have you transformed to success?
Yet, even when not acknowledged openly, it is often in the background of decision making.
Imagine how different life would be if failure was encouraged and expected.
If it was seen as a sign of growth and possibility? What if it was celebrated for what it was, a grand attempt towards something meaningful.
Fearing failure, many of us have lived lives of extreme caution.
We get good enough at one thing (whether we have passion for it or not) and settle down for the ride called Life.
Fear of failure keeps many brilliant minds holed up in secrecy never allowing their gifts to be revealed.
It is entirely possible that many people end up in passionless careers because the possibility of failure is not as intimidating when they are not doing what they really love anyways.
And if failure did happen where we feel passionless, the fall out would be minimal compared to what we may feel if we were pursuing a lifetime dream.
Imagine a world where our children were actually encouraged to try things and fail.
Where they were actually supported and celebrated in their failures just as much as they were celebrated and supported in their successes.
This may sound strange.
Even as we move closer to believing we have to face our fears of failure, we are often staggered by how that failure will be seen by our peers, community or loved ones (not necessarily in that particular order).
How many people do we know who hate their jobs but feels afraid to try what they love or even examine what they may love for fear of failure? How can we help our children embrace the process of experimentation that includes failure? As the adult, we MUST first take inventory regarding our own true feelings and experiences with failure.
We will not be persuasive on this topic if deep down we feel shame connected to our own instances of failure and then try to tell our children their failures are something to be proud of.
Energetic communication happens before verbal communication.
These two simple exercises will clarify your failure template: 1)Take a few moments to jot down some times you remember failing and how that experience impacted you.
How did the adults or friends in your life support (or not support) you through this experience? What feelings emerged through this failure? Did you try again, or did you give up? Do those past failures continue to play out in your present willingness to try new things? The more you know about the details of these experiences, the more helpful you can be when you engage your child in processing their own failures.
2) It can be helpful to have your child talk about their failure.
Have them write or tell a little story about their failure from a 3rd person perspective as if it had happened to a fictional character and what that character could do following the failure.
What was learned from the failure and how might it help them in the future? Help the child figure out their next step...
anything but giving up.
Giving up is the only true failure.
What failures have you transformed to success?