The Challenges of Raising and Teaching Middle School Age Children - Part 1
I have been teaching middle school age children for 13 years and there is a pattern of behavior in a majority of them, both male and female, that parents are unprepared to handle.
That adorable little baby that soon becomes a terrible two year old and then an inquisitive, helpful child who loves school becomes an entirely different entity.
I ask parents during sixth grade Back-To-School Night if the following conversation sounds familiar or I warn them that if they haven't heard these already, they will: Parent: "How was school?" Child: "Fine" Parent: "Do you have any homework?" There may be several answers to this one.
Child: "No", " I did it at school", or "I did it already".
End of conversation.
Unfortunately, parents believe these responses until they get the progress reports.
About 60% of my students' parents tell me during conferences that the above responses were exactly what their children told them.
Let us go on to the mood swings.
"Tweens", children between little child and teenager, are finding their way.
They have a goal to be popular at school, but not stand out too much.
They worry about their overall appearance compared to the appearances of others at school.
They worry about being embarrassed in and out of the classroom.
They wonder whether or not they are smarter than the next student and they hope the teacher won't call on them and make them look stupid.
They don't want to be too dumb or too smart since either may get them ostracized by a group, usually the popular group.
It doesn't take much to activate mood swings, particularly in girls.
A close group of friends can instantly become enemies for no apparent reason.
Then there is the onset of menstruation that can exacerbate the fragility of an already developing mind.
Boys and girls are different and not just physically.
"Tweens" are little children in big bodies.
They want love and acceptance from the adults in their lives, but often adults expect them to behave in a more mature manner than they are cognitively able to do.
They don't want to be ignored, nagged, or indulged.
They want boundaries which are displays of affection and concern that allow them the opportunity to experience their new freedoms within established limits.
And they really do want and need to interact with caring adults, even though they may say or behave otherwise.
They need adults to have conversations with them that involve more than abstaining from sex and doing homework.
Teachers spend more hours a week in conversation and interaction with "tweens" than their parents or guardians spend causing many students to find the company of teachers more comfortable than the company of their parents in homes.
With enough time and patience, interaction and understanding, the turmoil of the "tween" years will pass with hopefully little damage done to all parties involved.
I recommend the following books to help you on your journey: "The Wonder of Boys", by therapist and author Michael Gurian 'What parents, mentors and educators can do to shape boys into exceptional men' and "Girls Will be Girls: Raising Confident and Courageous", by JoAnn Deak, Ph.
D.
Daughters"
That adorable little baby that soon becomes a terrible two year old and then an inquisitive, helpful child who loves school becomes an entirely different entity.
I ask parents during sixth grade Back-To-School Night if the following conversation sounds familiar or I warn them that if they haven't heard these already, they will: Parent: "How was school?" Child: "Fine" Parent: "Do you have any homework?" There may be several answers to this one.
Child: "No", " I did it at school", or "I did it already".
End of conversation.
Unfortunately, parents believe these responses until they get the progress reports.
About 60% of my students' parents tell me during conferences that the above responses were exactly what their children told them.
Let us go on to the mood swings.
"Tweens", children between little child and teenager, are finding their way.
They have a goal to be popular at school, but not stand out too much.
They worry about their overall appearance compared to the appearances of others at school.
They worry about being embarrassed in and out of the classroom.
They wonder whether or not they are smarter than the next student and they hope the teacher won't call on them and make them look stupid.
They don't want to be too dumb or too smart since either may get them ostracized by a group, usually the popular group.
It doesn't take much to activate mood swings, particularly in girls.
A close group of friends can instantly become enemies for no apparent reason.
Then there is the onset of menstruation that can exacerbate the fragility of an already developing mind.
Boys and girls are different and not just physically.
"Tweens" are little children in big bodies.
They want love and acceptance from the adults in their lives, but often adults expect them to behave in a more mature manner than they are cognitively able to do.
They don't want to be ignored, nagged, or indulged.
They want boundaries which are displays of affection and concern that allow them the opportunity to experience their new freedoms within established limits.
And they really do want and need to interact with caring adults, even though they may say or behave otherwise.
They need adults to have conversations with them that involve more than abstaining from sex and doing homework.
Teachers spend more hours a week in conversation and interaction with "tweens" than their parents or guardians spend causing many students to find the company of teachers more comfortable than the company of their parents in homes.
With enough time and patience, interaction and understanding, the turmoil of the "tween" years will pass with hopefully little damage done to all parties involved.
I recommend the following books to help you on your journey: "The Wonder of Boys", by therapist and author Michael Gurian 'What parents, mentors and educators can do to shape boys into exceptional men' and "Girls Will be Girls: Raising Confident and Courageous", by JoAnn Deak, Ph.
D.
Daughters"