- 1). Approach the divorcing couple and express your concerns before taking steps toward an intervention. You may be able to convince the parents to take action together without making them feel "ambushed."
- 2). Contact a licensed therapist to schedule a meeting without the parents first if the parents are not on board. Express your concerns to the therapist and arrange a meeting when you and the therapist can meet with the parents together. The therapist can sit down with the parents to determine if they are willing to work together during an intervention for the sake of their children. Some divorcing couples have a difficult time doing this, and approaching therapy with deep resentment and conflict can expose the children to factors that may make their emotional situation worse.
- 3). Arrange a family meeting with the therapist, if the therapist determines the parents are capable of working together. In the event that the parents cannot work together during an intervention, the therapist can arrange to meet with each parent individually. Children would attend each parent's session.
- 4). Address everyone's feelings equally in an open forum. During a divorce, children play the blame game, either blaming themselves for the dissolving relationship, or blaming one parent. Blame leads to anger and resentment, and getting to the root of blame and helping children understand that no one is at fault can help them face their resentment. When children blame themselves, it can create deeply rooted emotional problems, and helping them understand that their parents still love them is an essential part of healing.
- 5). Provide children with activities that allow them to honestly express all of their emotions. In the book, "Creative Interventions for Children of Divorce," author Liana Lowenstein suggests using the "Feeling Angry Play Dough Pounding" technique to help children address and work through angry emotions. Children make their own play dough, then pound out their emotions in the dough, which may help them understand their feelings so they can begin to move past them.
- 6). Empower children through positive reinforcement, so they can learn to work through their problems, rather than holding them inside.
- 7). Continue to work with the entire family, even if in separate sections, to help them understand that when there are children involved, divorce does not sever the family. The couple has a responsibility to their children to work together as parents, even though they are apart, in order provide a strong foundation from which to grow. An ideal goal would be to eventually reach a point with the parents where they could attend family therapy together, but this may not work in every situation.
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