It's the call that you never want to get from your child's school, that your child is a bully.
Finding out that your child is a bully is tough for any parent.
Before you react by getting angry or up set, take a deep breath.
There's a lot you can do as a parent to stop this situation and help your child learn from it.
Here are suggested steps you can take to help resolve the problem and have a better outcome create for both your child and the kids who were bullied.
Talk with Your Child Many children may not be fully are what they are doing is wrong and considered bullying.
Often times children copy behavior that they have seen on TV, adults, siblings or peers.
By seeing others with this behavior they may think its OK.
However, your child needs to understand not only that this behavior is not OK but also why its not tolerated.
It has been proven that children that bully others tend to end up having increased depression and anger when they are adults.
Other Ways to Resolve Conflict.
The first step a parent should take is to determine why your child is bullying other kids.
There are many different reasons that kids bully.
Some kids bully for the social power or are copying peers.
If you are having difficulty getting answers from your child you may want to seek the help of a teacher or counselor Meet with School If the school hasn't already requested a meeting, you should schedule one to speak with your child's teacher and the school administration.
Let the school know your concerns and that you want to work with them to resolve the problem.
A clear message should be sent to your child that bullying is not accepted.
Work with the school to set up what everyone believes is a fair but effective punishment for your child's actions.
Set Rules It's important for your child to follow the rules in school about specific behaviors but they should also have a set of rules at home to follow.
Your child needs to know the specific behaviors you expect.
If you child doesn't follow your behavior rules there should be a set of consequences in place.
Monitor Behavior You may not be able to monitor your child's behavior at school but you can at home.
If you child acts aggressively towards siblings, stop it immediately.
You can use these situations to teach your child how to resolve a problem without anger or being physical.
Model Behavior Children learn from your behavior.
Children are sponges and learn not only the good but also the bad from us.
Take a look at your exchanges with others and make sure that you are not using aggressive or harassing behavior.
Do your best to model respectful and kind behavior Spend With Your Child.
We are all so busy these days that we may not know the basics about our own children.
Take the time to talk to your child about what they do in their spare time, who they like to hang out with, what activities they like..
etc.
If the circle of friends concerns you, work together to find new activities that may involve getting to know new kids.
Takes Time As with anything it will take time to see changes in behavior.
The best thing a parent can do is continually support your child's efforts.
Also continue talking to your child and let them know that you are there for them.
School Allies It is important even after the issue has been resolved to stay in close contact with the school.
Continue to communicate and work together to make sure the issue doesn't happen again Ask for Help There is no shame in asking for help.
As parents we may not have all the tools to help our children.
We may need to call on a mental health professional to help with the problem.
Finding out that your child is a bully is tough for any parent.
Before you react by getting angry or up set, take a deep breath.
There's a lot you can do as a parent to stop this situation and help your child learn from it.
Here are suggested steps you can take to help resolve the problem and have a better outcome create for both your child and the kids who were bullied.
Talk with Your Child Many children may not be fully are what they are doing is wrong and considered bullying.
Often times children copy behavior that they have seen on TV, adults, siblings or peers.
By seeing others with this behavior they may think its OK.
However, your child needs to understand not only that this behavior is not OK but also why its not tolerated.
It has been proven that children that bully others tend to end up having increased depression and anger when they are adults.
Other Ways to Resolve Conflict.
The first step a parent should take is to determine why your child is bullying other kids.
There are many different reasons that kids bully.
Some kids bully for the social power or are copying peers.
If you are having difficulty getting answers from your child you may want to seek the help of a teacher or counselor Meet with School If the school hasn't already requested a meeting, you should schedule one to speak with your child's teacher and the school administration.
Let the school know your concerns and that you want to work with them to resolve the problem.
A clear message should be sent to your child that bullying is not accepted.
Work with the school to set up what everyone believes is a fair but effective punishment for your child's actions.
Set Rules It's important for your child to follow the rules in school about specific behaviors but they should also have a set of rules at home to follow.
Your child needs to know the specific behaviors you expect.
If you child doesn't follow your behavior rules there should be a set of consequences in place.
Monitor Behavior You may not be able to monitor your child's behavior at school but you can at home.
If you child acts aggressively towards siblings, stop it immediately.
You can use these situations to teach your child how to resolve a problem without anger or being physical.
Model Behavior Children learn from your behavior.
Children are sponges and learn not only the good but also the bad from us.
Take a look at your exchanges with others and make sure that you are not using aggressive or harassing behavior.
Do your best to model respectful and kind behavior Spend With Your Child.
We are all so busy these days that we may not know the basics about our own children.
Take the time to talk to your child about what they do in their spare time, who they like to hang out with, what activities they like..
etc.
If the circle of friends concerns you, work together to find new activities that may involve getting to know new kids.
Takes Time As with anything it will take time to see changes in behavior.
The best thing a parent can do is continually support your child's efforts.
Also continue talking to your child and let them know that you are there for them.
School Allies It is important even after the issue has been resolved to stay in close contact with the school.
Continue to communicate and work together to make sure the issue doesn't happen again Ask for Help There is no shame in asking for help.
As parents we may not have all the tools to help our children.
We may need to call on a mental health professional to help with the problem.