How to Manage Defiant Children
- 1). Speak to the child to try and ascertain the root of the defiance. The behavior might be the result of something that is happening away from home and that you are unaware of. For instance, bullying or falling behind in class might be behind the angry behavior.
- 2). Analyze your own behavior to work out whether this is having an influence on the child's behavior. Parenting experts advise consistency in rules and expectations at home. If one parent is punishing a child for something that the other parent ignores the child could feel resentful and become defiant. Parents should set clear boundaries for behavior and communicate the consequences if the child steps over the line.
- 3). Mete out any punishment immediately following an act of defiance. However, ensure that the level of punishment is appropriate to the behavior. Banning the TV for a month might not be a suitable punishment for a child who has refused to tidy up his toys.
- 4). Analyze your interaction with the defiant child. If you are constantly rebuking her or putting her down this might be a contributory factor to the child's behavior. Try praising her for any compliant behavior. Praise should be specific, focusing on small successes at home or at school.
- 5). Learn about relaxation techniques and strategies if you feel that the child's defiant behavior is about anger. Teach the child some effective strategies such as controlled breathing and walking away from a situation or person to calm down.
- 6). Arrange an appointment with a mental health professional if the defiant behavior is persistent and there are no signs of improvement. Family therapy is another possibility, particularly if you feel that you might be contributing to your child's behavior.