Etiquette for Monogram Initials
- The most common monogramming available uses the three initials of your first, middle and last name. The order in which these initials appear depend upon the design of the monogram. If the monogram design features one large letter in the center with two smaller letters on either side, your initials should read from left to right: first name, last name, middle name so that the initial of your last name is the largest. If the design features three equally sized letters your initials should appear in first, middle last order instead.
- Often, spouses or partners may want a set of monogrammed stationery that either spouse can use or wish to monogram a household item with both partner's initials. If you choose a design that requires only a single initial and you both share the same last name, you can simply use that initial. If you have different last initials, it is considered less appropriate for both of your monograms to appear on stationery as etiquette requires you each to have your own stationery wardrobe. However, you can choose to have both of your monograms printed on a set of stationery separated by a dot or small design. Household items may be monogrammed with both of the initials of your last names separated by a dot or small design, or, if you share the same last name, your last name initial in the center with the husband's first initial on the left and the wife's on the right.
- It is not proper for a bride to use the monogram of her married initials prior to the wedding. She should continue to use stationery monogrammed with her maiden name initials for all prewedding correspondence, including thank-you notes. After the wedding, if she takes her husband's name, she may use her married monogram. Classical etiquette holds that she would continue to use her maiden monogram since she would have an engraved die with her monogram already, but since today's monograms rarely require an expensive engraved die this tradition does not hold sway.
- Certain household items have historically held either the monogram of the wife's maiden name, or husband's name, or both. Because brides typically came to a marriage with a full trousseau of linens they had spent their youth embroidering, towels and sheets were always monogrammed with the initials of the wife's maiden name. This tradition does still make some sense as marriages can be short-lived, but since monogrammed sheets and towels are fairly easy to come by many partners choose to use their last name initial with the husband's first name initial on the left and the wife's on the right. Traditionally silver has been engraved with either only the husband's last initial or the husband's last initial with the husband's first name initial on the left and the wife's on the right.