So I finally figured out what my resolution will be for 2009.
Granted it it's almost 5 months into the new year already but the at least I figured it out.
Not that my initial resolution of 'finally listening to all the songs I've downloaded wasn't worthy but it lacked substance.
I wanted to do something that would affect my bottom line, help me live a better life.
And it all came about after an episode on a talk show.
Yup I got caught up in the 'live your best live week' mantra...
so sue me.
So my resolution is all about the word BALANCE.
More specifically, its about me balancing all my life's roles and still finding the time for ME.
See once I became a mom of two, I found that I completely lost who I was...
my sense of self disappeared into thin air, no where to be found.
The world of Motherland has been a never ending two steps forward, two steps back lately.
I feel like I'm never ahead of the game of life.
I feel like I haven't made that transition of being able to jump back and forth from the roles of mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend and just plain old me.
And it's a frustration felt my many mothers in Motherland.
Tie that in with no sleep and its not been the optimum of situations.
My family doctor, after seeing her for massive headaches and tingling along my spine and left hand side of my back and left arm, asked me 'are you stressed?' That one question opened a flood gate of tears...
literally.
I knew I was stressed but I had never admitted it to anyone outside of my husband and my mom.
My doctor told me that stress plus a serious lack of regular sleep can do a number on your body.
Your body fights back trying to get your attention, letting you know that you need to slow down and refocus.
I knew something had to give...
eventually.
So after that one talk show episode, I finally figured out what I was doing wrong.
The key was balance and I was severely lacking it.
It's something that all of us in the world of Motherland struggle at.
I always considered myself organized...
when I was a working girl outside the home, it was something people could always count on.
I was always on top of everything and could juggle a hundred things at once.
But the minute I became a stay at home mom, twice over, the skill vanished.
In Motherland we feel like we barely have enough time to devote to our kids each and every day.
And time for our husbands/partners seems non existent and then we always forget about 'me' time.
That 'me' time has been given permanent back-burner status for most of us in the world of Motherland.
Maybe its a guilt thing that we need to overcome.
We feel like when we take those precious hours to go get our hair done or pamper ourselves with a little shopping or a pedicure we feel overwhelming guilt.
More often than not all we can think of is we could have spent that time with the kids or our husbands/partners.
And right then and there, the whole purpose of taking time out for ourselves to revive, relax and just breathe, is gone in an instant.
But I see now that if we as mothers don't have that balance then we are never going to be happy, balanced or sane functioning individuals.
It's going to be a tough year with a lot of work to achieve this nirvana state of balance but its something I need.
What we need.
Balance should be the new motto and repeated mantra of Motherland.
We need to find time to reconnect with ourselves, the women we were before the life changes that came with children.
I miss me.
Just plain, old, free-spirited me.
Like all the women in Motherland, I love being a mom and I love being a wife, I do but I have to get that old me back.
If you see her around, tell her I'm looking for her and one day we'll reconnect.
That's my promise to her, to me for 2009.
And its a Motherland resolution I intend to keep.
Granted it it's almost 5 months into the new year already but the at least I figured it out.
Not that my initial resolution of 'finally listening to all the songs I've downloaded wasn't worthy but it lacked substance.
I wanted to do something that would affect my bottom line, help me live a better life.
And it all came about after an episode on a talk show.
Yup I got caught up in the 'live your best live week' mantra...
so sue me.
So my resolution is all about the word BALANCE.
More specifically, its about me balancing all my life's roles and still finding the time for ME.
See once I became a mom of two, I found that I completely lost who I was...
my sense of self disappeared into thin air, no where to be found.
The world of Motherland has been a never ending two steps forward, two steps back lately.
I feel like I'm never ahead of the game of life.
I feel like I haven't made that transition of being able to jump back and forth from the roles of mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend and just plain old me.
And it's a frustration felt my many mothers in Motherland.
Tie that in with no sleep and its not been the optimum of situations.
My family doctor, after seeing her for massive headaches and tingling along my spine and left hand side of my back and left arm, asked me 'are you stressed?' That one question opened a flood gate of tears...
literally.
I knew I was stressed but I had never admitted it to anyone outside of my husband and my mom.
My doctor told me that stress plus a serious lack of regular sleep can do a number on your body.
Your body fights back trying to get your attention, letting you know that you need to slow down and refocus.
I knew something had to give...
eventually.
So after that one talk show episode, I finally figured out what I was doing wrong.
The key was balance and I was severely lacking it.
It's something that all of us in the world of Motherland struggle at.
I always considered myself organized...
when I was a working girl outside the home, it was something people could always count on.
I was always on top of everything and could juggle a hundred things at once.
But the minute I became a stay at home mom, twice over, the skill vanished.
In Motherland we feel like we barely have enough time to devote to our kids each and every day.
And time for our husbands/partners seems non existent and then we always forget about 'me' time.
That 'me' time has been given permanent back-burner status for most of us in the world of Motherland.
Maybe its a guilt thing that we need to overcome.
We feel like when we take those precious hours to go get our hair done or pamper ourselves with a little shopping or a pedicure we feel overwhelming guilt.
More often than not all we can think of is we could have spent that time with the kids or our husbands/partners.
And right then and there, the whole purpose of taking time out for ourselves to revive, relax and just breathe, is gone in an instant.
But I see now that if we as mothers don't have that balance then we are never going to be happy, balanced or sane functioning individuals.
It's going to be a tough year with a lot of work to achieve this nirvana state of balance but its something I need.
What we need.
Balance should be the new motto and repeated mantra of Motherland.
We need to find time to reconnect with ourselves, the women we were before the life changes that came with children.
I miss me.
Just plain, old, free-spirited me.
Like all the women in Motherland, I love being a mom and I love being a wife, I do but I have to get that old me back.
If you see her around, tell her I'm looking for her and one day we'll reconnect.
That's my promise to her, to me for 2009.
And its a Motherland resolution I intend to keep.