As a single parent of three, now teens, I look back on the mistakes made and lessons learned.
My children and I have had many discussions about the past and we are able to put old hurts into perspective.
Through understanding, empathy and willingness, we have taken the time to walk in each others' shoes and fully experience their feelings and thought processes at the time.
It is a most exhilarating feeling to be able to do that.
Everyone feels validated and and appreciated, and for the record, appreciation in the number one thing all humans desire the most.
When someone can recite back to you your feelings with full understanding of it's causes and effects, it is incredibly freeing.
By opening up and talking to your children you become aware of so many things.
Things that can and will empower them and you.
- Listen to your kids.
When they tell you something, hear them and respond accordingly.
Time is an illusion so stop telling them you don't have time for them.
Imagine someone you look up to repeatedly telling you " I don't have time right now, can't this wait" - Listen to your kids.
If your kids are the outspoken type and they tell you to stop yelling, hear what they are saying.
They tune you out so you are raising your stress level, infecting them and wasting a lot of time that you previously did not have for them.
- Listen to your kids.
And learn to read between the lines.
When they tell you something, they may be embedding some information in a conversation that they are too embarrassed or scared to outwardly say.
- Listen to your kids.
Literally listen to their talk and how they approach situations.
Are they modeling you? Do you like what you see or hear? If yes, congratulations.
If no, then now would be a good time to recognize and change your own limiting beliefs so you do not pass them on.
- Listen to your kids.
It does not matter what is going on around you, they deserve a chance.
And from experience, sometimes we learn more from our kids than they could ever learn from us.
- Listen to your kids.
What they have to say, may change your life forever, and the more encouragement they receive will allow them to grow to unimaginable levels.
- Listen to your kids.
You were one once.
What is it you wanted to say, and others to hear? Learn to embrace the moments you have.
Sure, you will need boundaries and so will they.
Exercised appropriately, you can and will have a remarkable relationship with your children.