Definition:

A "best friend divorce" is not a formal or legal statement, but rather the end of a friendship between two people who considered each other best friends. A best friend divorce can feel surprisingly similar to a marital divorce, with years of hurt and lingering questions that can change the way you approach friendships from that point on.

While many best friends will break up over the years, a "divorce" of this type is usually more dramatic and sudden.

Both parties may feel slighted and wondering what happened, or perhaps one friend betrayed the other and thus the friendship came to an abrupt end.

Dividing the Friends

Just like in a marital divorce, a best friend breakup can have friends either choosing sides or feeling torn. Very often one or both of the best friends will feel hurt when mutual friends "choose" the other person, and as a result leave them behind. This is especially awkward if both of the best friends shared the same group of friends.

If your friends have gone through a "best friend divorce" try your best to support each one. Don't act as a matchmaker or force the issue of a reconciliation, but just listen to each person talk (and vent, if need be) and help them figure out for themselves what is best for their friendship and life.

When You and a Best Friend Break Up

If you are the one going through a breakup, try to take a step back and determine the lessons learned from the friendship and the cause of the "divorce." If a reconciliation is possible, go slowly and apologize or forgive (depending on your role in the breakup) and allow things to progress as they will.

If you and a friend are meant to be best pals again, you will be eventually. If not, perhaps your friendship will change but you will still be in touch.

Not every friend is meant to stay in our life, and getting over a breakup like this can take time and patience. Allow yourself time to grieve the end of the relationship, but don't let yourself become cynical or negative about friends in general. Remain open to new friendships and be cautious about trying to fill the "best friend role" in your life too quickly. New friendships can't be rushed.

 

Also Known As: best friend breakup, end of a friendship