You remember Gloria Vanderbilt, right? She was the Poor Little Rich Girl who grew up to marry a Philharmonic conductor light-years her senior, and later moved on to make beautiful music with Hollywood director Sidney Lumet, Marlon Brando, Gene Kelly, Howard Hughes, and Frank Sinatra.
("With Frank," she recalled, "it was magical.
") Why else should we remember Gloria? Because she's 86 now and still, she assures her friends (alas, we are not numbered among them), that she adores sex.
Well, why shouldn't she? In fact, why shouldn't we all? It is magical.
It makes us feel good - very good - and very loved.
And after all, to love and be loved is the essence of life.
Yet when I talk about sex to older women - a lot younger than Gloria - many, too many, throw up their hands and exclaim, "Oh no, not for me!" (In effect, "Been there, done that, it's history.
") They insist that they don't feel the need.
And, anyway, that they haven't met anyone they feel they could enjoy, well, spending a night with.
Besides, who needs men? They have their girlfriends.
Often a woman's visceral reaction is because she fears that her body "ain't what it used to be.
" Well, maybe.
But, then, neither are men's.
(Ugh, those watermelon paunches!) Okay, many of us had great figures once.
(We still look nostalgically at our fading bathing beauty snapshots.
) But that was then and this is now, and our full-length mirrors no longer tell us, "You are the fairest of them all.
" But so what? It's possible that we need to stop saying, "No way!" and start saying, "Okay.
" Only with the right man of course.
We need to love our bodies.
It's the only one we've got.
Let's tone it with exercise and, if it's needed, a revisit to Weight Watchers.
And don't ever give up the trip.
Try a couple of good dating websites (our book has a lot of great suggestions on how to make the most of them).
And, if you remember sex fondly, don't just give thanks for the memories.
It's never too late to date -- and make new memories.
Kiss apathy goodbye.
Persist.
Persist.
Persist.
Like one of the poems scattered through our book says: MOTIVATION 101 I think that if I really try I could find myself a guy But I'm stuck in apathy In endless hours of TV.
I guess that what I need's a nanny To tell me, "Hey, get off your fanny.
"
("With Frank," she recalled, "it was magical.
") Why else should we remember Gloria? Because she's 86 now and still, she assures her friends (alas, we are not numbered among them), that she adores sex.
Well, why shouldn't she? In fact, why shouldn't we all? It is magical.
It makes us feel good - very good - and very loved.
And after all, to love and be loved is the essence of life.
Yet when I talk about sex to older women - a lot younger than Gloria - many, too many, throw up their hands and exclaim, "Oh no, not for me!" (In effect, "Been there, done that, it's history.
") They insist that they don't feel the need.
And, anyway, that they haven't met anyone they feel they could enjoy, well, spending a night with.
Besides, who needs men? They have their girlfriends.
Often a woman's visceral reaction is because she fears that her body "ain't what it used to be.
" Well, maybe.
But, then, neither are men's.
(Ugh, those watermelon paunches!) Okay, many of us had great figures once.
(We still look nostalgically at our fading bathing beauty snapshots.
) But that was then and this is now, and our full-length mirrors no longer tell us, "You are the fairest of them all.
" But so what? It's possible that we need to stop saying, "No way!" and start saying, "Okay.
" Only with the right man of course.
We need to love our bodies.
It's the only one we've got.
Let's tone it with exercise and, if it's needed, a revisit to Weight Watchers.
And don't ever give up the trip.
Try a couple of good dating websites (our book has a lot of great suggestions on how to make the most of them).
And, if you remember sex fondly, don't just give thanks for the memories.
It's never too late to date -- and make new memories.
Kiss apathy goodbye.
Persist.
Persist.
Persist.
Like one of the poems scattered through our book says: MOTIVATION 101 I think that if I really try I could find myself a guy But I'm stuck in apathy In endless hours of TV.
I guess that what I need's a nanny To tell me, "Hey, get off your fanny.
"