Does the question of how to assert yourself in your relationships often boggle your mind?Have you felt swept up by the current, with your needs disappearing in the torrent?Do you wish to be more independent?Here are the ways in which you can be more assertive and stand on your own feet.
1.
Inform, and take back your power.
Who have you been lending your power to lately?Politely and firmly take it back.
Yes, it is that simple.
It is a simple mental shift that can do this, followed up with a few small actions.
This draws the boundaries, so to speak, and lets people know what you can, will, and cannot tolerate.
Don't expect mind-reading: you have to inform politely what those boundaries are.
Be firm.
2.
Have standards.
Here, it is for you.
The flipside of boundaries is standards.
You cannot expect anything of anyone if you don't maintain high standards yourself.
Your standards are based on your values.
If there is something you cannot and will not tolerate in another, don't ever do it yourself.
3.
Be consistent.
As with children, discipline is only effective if measures are followed consistently.
So, with men, be consistent.
You can't give him a time-out, but you can step back a bit.
Do so every time he violates one of your boundaries: he will get the message soon enough.
If he doesn't, time to graze in greener pastures.
4.
Be easy.
Don't feel baffled when you hear this.
Yes, we know we told you to be consistent, and now we are saying be easy.
Hear us out.
Be easy with the things that are not so important to you.
Really, socks left on the floor on Wednesday when they were picked up Thursday through Tuesday...
matter of life and death?Not so much.
Pick them up yourself and imagine you are picking up a rose he threw down for you...
just don't breathe too deeply or you will snap out of your fantasy in a hurry! 5.
Maintain your own identity.
This means keep your bank account separate.
If you guys have one for shared expense, that's fine, but you need your own money, no two ways about it.
This also means honour your passions.
If you love yoga, you must do it.
All exercise doesn't have to be walks together.
You don't share underwear.
You get the general idea.
If you do these few things, you will find there isn't much need to assert yourself per se.
Your presence will already be felt and you will be a vital part of every relationship, not least the one with your man.
In summary, how to assert yourself in relationships is to do so with finesse and diplomacy, the way you would wish for others to assert themselves.
The Golden Rule works every time.