How to Correct Passive Aggressive Behavior in a Marriage
- 1). Recognize that your spouse's passive-aggressive behavior is not caused by your actions. Do not take responsibility for the behavior, and do not let your self-worth fall victim to your spouse's pattern. Passive-aggressive behavior is often a long-term issue rooted in a past circumstance. It can only be successfully corrected if the individual agrees to recognize and address their commitment to the problem.
- 2). Avoid using language and actions that mirror the passive-aggressive behavior of your spouse. Engaging in "competition" only provokes the pattern further and will place additional strain on the marriage. Doing "battle" with a passive-aggressive also can result in your own unhealthy mental state and can substantiate the difficult actions of your spouse. A passive-aggressive spouse fears confrontation and will be increasingly cautious about self-expression if they view you as an opponent.
- 3). Create a safe and comfortable environment for your spouse. Allow them to know you are committed to a future together. Speak tactfully, and noncoercively about goals you have for the relationship. Encourage them to express themselves by simply making them feel at-ease.
- 4). State your feelings directly and assertively if your spouse continues to exhibit the behavior. Sit down and clearly explain that these actions are not acceptable. Assert your own emotions, be open about your beliefs and do not let your spouse's behavior affect your own personal choices.
- 5). Suggest marital counseling as a last resort. Even if your spouse refuses to go, make an appointment for yourself.