"Mind your manners" is a phrase we've all been told at one time or another.
Often it comes from an encouraging adult wishing us to display respectable behaviors, but, by whose standards of respectable behavior? That can be a very confusing issue for a child, especially when the statistics show we as parents and guiding adults have less and less time to spend with our children.
Then there is the issue of adults properly displaying respectable behaviors themselves while sifting through the everyday challenges.
Throughout our lifespan, how many of us have taken the time to reflect on why we encourage our children with that statement? Is it a request from a loving, caring adult that wants the child to experience positive reinforcement for displaying proper social behaviors or is it the desire from adults that want societal hierarchies to think the adult in charge of this child is skillfully teaching respectable behaviors? In an age of applied ingenious and shrewdly competitive marketing strategies, our children are constantly inundated with movies, magazines and cable TV ads that push the line on acceptable social behaviors.
It is only when we take a step back and interact with children on a human to human basis that we can differentiate who is winning the battle of influence.
The need for a parent to examine who has the stronger influence is often made available at the most inappropriate times, such as dinner outings, family gatherings or school related functions.
However; parents need not fret, but use these times to boldly display parental leadership.
Contrary to what is sometimes claimed, EVERY parent or adult that deals with children has had an episode that they would rather not have had to deal with.
Parental skills are learned over time and the application of those skills are applied based completely at the discretion of the adult.
So the next time we tell a child "mind your manners" let us not forget it is the "leading by example" experience that may make the difference between what a child finds as acceptable manners according to parents and what the masses influencing our children find as acceptable manners.
Often it comes from an encouraging adult wishing us to display respectable behaviors, but, by whose standards of respectable behavior? That can be a very confusing issue for a child, especially when the statistics show we as parents and guiding adults have less and less time to spend with our children.
Then there is the issue of adults properly displaying respectable behaviors themselves while sifting through the everyday challenges.
Throughout our lifespan, how many of us have taken the time to reflect on why we encourage our children with that statement? Is it a request from a loving, caring adult that wants the child to experience positive reinforcement for displaying proper social behaviors or is it the desire from adults that want societal hierarchies to think the adult in charge of this child is skillfully teaching respectable behaviors? In an age of applied ingenious and shrewdly competitive marketing strategies, our children are constantly inundated with movies, magazines and cable TV ads that push the line on acceptable social behaviors.
It is only when we take a step back and interact with children on a human to human basis that we can differentiate who is winning the battle of influence.
The need for a parent to examine who has the stronger influence is often made available at the most inappropriate times, such as dinner outings, family gatherings or school related functions.
However; parents need not fret, but use these times to boldly display parental leadership.
Contrary to what is sometimes claimed, EVERY parent or adult that deals with children has had an episode that they would rather not have had to deal with.
Parental skills are learned over time and the application of those skills are applied based completely at the discretion of the adult.
So the next time we tell a child "mind your manners" let us not forget it is the "leading by example" experience that may make the difference between what a child finds as acceptable manners according to parents and what the masses influencing our children find as acceptable manners.