In today's age we often hear adults say "Kids today have a sense of entitlement".
Perhaps they do but let's examine this theory for a moment...
I bet if you look closer there is a lot more going on than a "sense of entitlement".
When we were born we did not come into this world saying "gimme that video game! I deserve it!" did we? This became a learned behavior and goes back many decades (just insert different wants of a child during different era's).
Part of the issue parents have today is the fact that there children didn't come with a new car scent and operating manual, which we have all grown quite accustom to and quite enjoy! When couples find out they are pregnant most are thrilled to be bringing a life into the world.
Who can blame them? It is a very interesting ability to do! A general trend with many parents that happens is this little life is so brand new and fragile upon entering this world that to take care of he or she, we kind of go "a little weird" about it.
Not really clear in all the steps to take along the way in this 18 year at home education they are about to embark on.
Taking exams can be scary and nerve racking and then you throw in a talking, eating, pooping machine that represents your biggest exam you will ever take! This particular test may show up in the form of throwing a fit in the middle of Wal Mart over a dolly or a hot wheels car and you, being unsure how to react and want nothing more than this moment to go away say "Okay, okay, if you be quiet you can have it!" Hmm...
interesting isn't it.
As your child takes notes on the fit vs.
reaction, fit vs.
reaction times they begin to correlate how they can get what they want.
It is not even that they do it in a sneaky way, you have trained them that this works and they will continue to use it as long a sit works.
As they grow up and mom or dad continue to do things for them like tie their shoes, by them stuff after throwing fits, do their homework for them not with them this cycle of what adults call "entitlement" stays present.
This cycle will continue until they leave home and find relationships that will replace mom and or dad so they can continue on.
Scary thought, isn't it? To interrupt this cycle of entitlement the answer is quite simple.
At an early age associate your children with being capable and empowered human beings.
What this means is teach them to tie their shoes, when throwing fits in stores don't get triggered but ask them to wait a moment while you gather the other store patrons to come watch as it may be their best performance yet, ask them questions while they do their homework that guides them to the answer without finishing it for them and ask your children what is happening in their world and keep the doors to communicate always open.
They really are your full partners and "entitlement" comes from what we as adults create for them.
Perhaps they do but let's examine this theory for a moment...
I bet if you look closer there is a lot more going on than a "sense of entitlement".
When we were born we did not come into this world saying "gimme that video game! I deserve it!" did we? This became a learned behavior and goes back many decades (just insert different wants of a child during different era's).
Part of the issue parents have today is the fact that there children didn't come with a new car scent and operating manual, which we have all grown quite accustom to and quite enjoy! When couples find out they are pregnant most are thrilled to be bringing a life into the world.
Who can blame them? It is a very interesting ability to do! A general trend with many parents that happens is this little life is so brand new and fragile upon entering this world that to take care of he or she, we kind of go "a little weird" about it.
Not really clear in all the steps to take along the way in this 18 year at home education they are about to embark on.
Taking exams can be scary and nerve racking and then you throw in a talking, eating, pooping machine that represents your biggest exam you will ever take! This particular test may show up in the form of throwing a fit in the middle of Wal Mart over a dolly or a hot wheels car and you, being unsure how to react and want nothing more than this moment to go away say "Okay, okay, if you be quiet you can have it!" Hmm...
interesting isn't it.
As your child takes notes on the fit vs.
reaction, fit vs.
reaction times they begin to correlate how they can get what they want.
It is not even that they do it in a sneaky way, you have trained them that this works and they will continue to use it as long a sit works.
As they grow up and mom or dad continue to do things for them like tie their shoes, by them stuff after throwing fits, do their homework for them not with them this cycle of what adults call "entitlement" stays present.
This cycle will continue until they leave home and find relationships that will replace mom and or dad so they can continue on.
Scary thought, isn't it? To interrupt this cycle of entitlement the answer is quite simple.
At an early age associate your children with being capable and empowered human beings.
What this means is teach them to tie their shoes, when throwing fits in stores don't get triggered but ask them to wait a moment while you gather the other store patrons to come watch as it may be their best performance yet, ask them questions while they do their homework that guides them to the answer without finishing it for them and ask your children what is happening in their world and keep the doors to communicate always open.
They really are your full partners and "entitlement" comes from what we as adults create for them.