I happened to spot the "The Flirt Expert" Rachel DeAlto promoting her book, Flirt Fearlessly, on television one day, and was intrigued - she had such great advice.
I was wondering what DeAlto would have to say about the best type of lingerie to wear on a date. Is there a "lingerie dress code" for dating?
If you decide to give your outfit a little extra sexy boost from a push up bra, will your date think you look foxy - or like a floozy?
When I spoke to DeAlto, my first question was, “Do you think a big date is the perfect excuse to shop for a good cleavage enhancing bra?”
She quickly answers with a firm, “No! Less is more.” She explains, "A little cleavage goes a long way. Unless you’re in Las Vegas, keep your outfit tame.”
DeAlto quickly follows up with more advice: "Lingerie - when dating and flirting - is about feeling good on the inside, not what you are showing on the outside. A sexy matching set can definitely help to boost your confidence, but don't show it all off on the first date - or second, or third.”
I know that’s true. Try switching your cotton Jockeys for a pretty red lace bikini, even when you’re sitting at home, and you just might start to act a little differently, without even realizing it. Wear nylon stockings, and you might find yourself walking a little sexier, or sitting a little more feminine.
But only wear styles that make you feel comfortable. Don’t try out new shapewear on a first date, like a waist cincher.
If it’s not comfortable, your pain will show on your face - and it won’t look pretty.
Do the Same Rules Apply if You Just Want To Flirt?
If you don’t have a date coming up, but you’ll be going out with friends and hoping to meet someone special, DeAlto says that’s not the time to wear your most revealing push-up bra, either.
"You will definitely get a lot more attention if you dress sexy, and show off some cleavage. But it probably won't be the right kind of attention,” she smartly advises.
We continue talking about wearing figure-flattering clothes - and both agree that you’ll glow with an inner confidence if you wear an outfit you feel good in. “That’s what sexy is,” DeAlto says.
One trick to help make sure you look and feel your best in any outfit is to start with the right foundation garments - that means the best bra, underwear and/or shapewear for your body type. This can work wonders.
After our conversation took a detour and we spoke a little longer about pretty underwear, DeAlto gets back to the most important “rule” - don’t show too much skin.
"It's pretty easy for a single girl to get someone's attention,” she says. “But the goal is to keep that attention - and to do that, you have to look respectable.”
So I've learned from the Flirt Expert that dating should have a dress code. The one major “don’t” she points out again is not to wear the wrong type of push up bra - especially not one that’s too revealing and not supportive. Combine that with a super-low neckline, and you will look like you’re ready to party in Las Vegas - not meet someone special.
You also might want to get past the ‘just dating’ stage before you break out the racy lingerie. Save it for the right time in your relationship.
Final Words of Advice
“You can’t ever go wrong if you feel confident,” DeAlto adds.
So find the right curve-hugging, figure-flattering outfit - and remember that making sure your curves look great starts with wearing the right type of bra for your body type.
Feeling comfortable in your clothes - and lingerie - is what will always help boost your confidence. That’s the only type of “boost” you should be worried about achieving.
Where To Get the Style Shown
The new "Add 2 cups" push up bra by Victoria's Secret Bombshell collection, shown in purple, might not be the best choice if you're going out to flirt. Unless you're an A cup size, you might be revealing too much.