What a wonderful groom you have! When it comes to most of those pressing wedding matters, he is happy to smile, kiss you on the cheek and say, "It's all up to you, honey."
At first you may have found this to be something of a relief. But if you're like many brides-to-be, you rapidly figured out that the downside of having an eternally obliging groom is that you are:
What can you do? Mercilessly pelt the groom with wedding-hall brochures and cake samples until he agrees to turn off the TV and make a decision or two? I don't think so.
Instead, try this foolproof plan to get your guy interested and involved:
Consider how you got here
It takes two to create any relationship dynamic. Consider for a moment: Did you set yourself up, perhaps by implying that weddings were "girl stuff" or that his input would be about as welcome as a cold sore? If so, back-pedal fast. Let him know you would value his participation. Remind him that half of the wedding guests will be men, so you would appreciate a masculine touch.
Consider his interests
Gently instigate a conversation about what aspects of the wedding are of most interest to him. Try questions like, "What do you think you'll most remember about the day?"
Is he a shutterbug who cares about photography? Does he have a poetic streak that might make him want to help devise and personalize the ceremony? Is he musically inclined, and hence qualified to select the band or consult with the deejay on a playlist?
Once you get him talking and yourself listening, it shouldn't be hard to gently coax him into taking on a job or two.
Flatter and reward
Once your groom is actively participating, be sure to praise him for his efforts, even if they are somewhat half-hearted at first.
Restrain yourself
Don't give in to the temptation to jump back into the fray if you see him procrastinating. Give him the message that you appreciate him and trust him to get the job done.
Prepare to surrender control
Once you ask for his input, you've got to accept it. If his suggestions are not exactly what you had in mind, but not completely abhorrent, so be it. Compromise is part of the big picture of marriage.
Always remember, when all is said and done, the wedding [http://www.1weddingplanning.com/] is merely a big party - gone in a day. The marriage that it celebrates is the truly important thing.
At first you may have found this to be something of a relief. But if you're like many brides-to-be, you rapidly figured out that the downside of having an eternally obliging groom is that you are:
- carrying too much of the decision-making burden
- attending to wedding minutiae, while he blithely watches basketball playoffs
- nervously anticipating that your groom and his family will be less than thrilled with what you plan
- finally catching on to the fact that you've been snookered.
What can you do? Mercilessly pelt the groom with wedding-hall brochures and cake samples until he agrees to turn off the TV and make a decision or two? I don't think so.
Instead, try this foolproof plan to get your guy interested and involved:
Consider how you got here
It takes two to create any relationship dynamic. Consider for a moment: Did you set yourself up, perhaps by implying that weddings were "girl stuff" or that his input would be about as welcome as a cold sore? If so, back-pedal fast. Let him know you would value his participation. Remind him that half of the wedding guests will be men, so you would appreciate a masculine touch.
Consider his interests
Gently instigate a conversation about what aspects of the wedding are of most interest to him. Try questions like, "What do you think you'll most remember about the day?"
Is he a shutterbug who cares about photography? Does he have a poetic streak that might make him want to help devise and personalize the ceremony? Is he musically inclined, and hence qualified to select the band or consult with the deejay on a playlist?
Once you get him talking and yourself listening, it shouldn't be hard to gently coax him into taking on a job or two.
Flatter and reward
Once your groom is actively participating, be sure to praise him for his efforts, even if they are somewhat half-hearted at first.
Restrain yourself
Don't give in to the temptation to jump back into the fray if you see him procrastinating. Give him the message that you appreciate him and trust him to get the job done.
Prepare to surrender control
Once you ask for his input, you've got to accept it. If his suggestions are not exactly what you had in mind, but not completely abhorrent, so be it. Compromise is part of the big picture of marriage.
Always remember, when all is said and done, the wedding [http://www.1weddingplanning.com/] is merely a big party - gone in a day. The marriage that it celebrates is the truly important thing.