Words Are Crucial: How Speaking Your Unfiltered Thoughts Could Be Impacting Your Relationship
Words have so much power.
Depending on how we use them, words have the power to inspire, to hurt, or to heal.
Notice what you say to your partner.
Are you saying words that support and inspire your spouse? Are you using words that soothe and heal him/her? Or are you using words that criticize or shame your partner? We often fail to consider the impact that our words have on others because we spend so much time talking.
We think that our words don't really matter, or won't have much of an effect on anyone else.
The rationale is, "I talk all day.
Each thing I say doesn't really have that much of an impact on others.
" Put that together with the fact that most people are poor listeners and it's easy to convince ourselves that our words won't have a very big impact on someone else's life.
However, this is not true.
Our words DO make a difference to others.
Think back to a specific childhood memory.
Try to recall an instance when you were with a teacher, a parent, a friend, a sibling, or a bully.
Can you recall exactly what that person said to you? Chances are, you can.
Now notice the feelings you have in connection to that incident.
Do you remember feeling loved, encouraged, threatened, or demeaned? Often, we can remember exactly what someone said to us years, or even decades later, because it had an emotional impact on us.
The words that person chose to speak at that time served to inspire, hurt, or heal us.
The words you use now have this same power.
The people in your life can feel touched by your supportive words.
They can be healed by your loving words.
By the same token, they can feel demeaned or hurt by your critical words.
That's why it's so important that you think about what you say to you partner.
Which type of words do you use most with your spouse? It's important for you to realize that the way you talk to your spouse IS impacting him/her - even if he/she tries not to let you see it.
If you look carefully, you might notice a slight smile or see their body relax when you speak words of caring.
Or you might see their brow crease or body tense when you speak words of judgment.
Depending on how we use them, words have the power to inspire, to hurt, or to heal.
Notice what you say to your partner.
Are you saying words that support and inspire your spouse? Are you using words that soothe and heal him/her? Or are you using words that criticize or shame your partner? We often fail to consider the impact that our words have on others because we spend so much time talking.
We think that our words don't really matter, or won't have much of an effect on anyone else.
The rationale is, "I talk all day.
Each thing I say doesn't really have that much of an impact on others.
" Put that together with the fact that most people are poor listeners and it's easy to convince ourselves that our words won't have a very big impact on someone else's life.
However, this is not true.
Our words DO make a difference to others.
Think back to a specific childhood memory.
Try to recall an instance when you were with a teacher, a parent, a friend, a sibling, or a bully.
Can you recall exactly what that person said to you? Chances are, you can.
Now notice the feelings you have in connection to that incident.
Do you remember feeling loved, encouraged, threatened, or demeaned? Often, we can remember exactly what someone said to us years, or even decades later, because it had an emotional impact on us.
The words that person chose to speak at that time served to inspire, hurt, or heal us.
The words you use now have this same power.
The people in your life can feel touched by your supportive words.
They can be healed by your loving words.
By the same token, they can feel demeaned or hurt by your critical words.
That's why it's so important that you think about what you say to you partner.
Which type of words do you use most with your spouse? It's important for you to realize that the way you talk to your spouse IS impacting him/her - even if he/she tries not to let you see it.
If you look carefully, you might notice a slight smile or see their body relax when you speak words of caring.
Or you might see their brow crease or body tense when you speak words of judgment.