Sadly, more than 50% of all marriages in North America will end in divorce.
You may think that this is just a sign of the times, however, other countries do not tout the same high rates.
In India, the divorce rate is only 1%, in Japan, it's still much lower at 27%.
Most of us engaged in some form of higher education by attending a University or College to be able to practice a certain trade, art or science, however, not nearly as many of us took pre-marriage counseling as seriously.
It has actually been indicated that folks who do choose to study the dynamics of marriage, including finances, children and the art of intimacy, can save themselves a lot of potential heartache.
It has been proven that pre-marriage counseling really pays off.
Couples who have chosen to study how to be in relationship with one another were 31% less likely to divorce as per The Journal of Family Psychology, March 2006.
The way to go about engaging in effective pre-marriage counseling can include a number of options.
A member of the clergy at your church or synagogue is typically happy to host you to discuss pre-marriage counseling classes.
Also, a professional counsellor, psychologist or other health-care professional is also equipped to assist you in this regard.
It is important to choose someone who is qualified to serve you and who you both find wholly resonant to work with.
Mainly, this individual should be in a resonant relationship themselves, providing you with a feeling of comfort, inspiration and an innovative mentorship.
It is good to thing to consider fostering a long term relationship with this individual as you never know when you might go through a difficult, contractive phase in your marriage one day in the future, needing to consult with this individual again.
Most folks may not be surprised to learn that one of the biggest sources of dissonance in the marriage can be from finances.
Kathleen Caught, a lay minister and mortgage advisor astutely recognized how much money is a trigger in relationships that she wrote a book entitled, From Marriages to Mortgages.
Couples would do well to pick up a copy and study it in order to engage in this aspect of conscious loving.
Relationships are so much about learning to love each other from a place of knowledge as opposed to "magical thinking.
" Knowledge replaces fear and ignorance and only bodes well on the romantic aspect of the love relationship.
In fact, couples who courageously completed a course in pre-marriage counseling not only know longevity in their relationship, they also reported greater marital happiness, sensual intimacy, a better rate of deep commitment to one another and less conflict overall as per The Journal of Family Psychology (March, 2006).
So, if you suspect that pre-marriage counseling is going to ruin the romantic aspect of your relationship, you are wrong.
The facts totally prove otherwise.
If you think about it, sex starts in the mind and to completely let go to the orgasm reflex, you have to know that you are emotionally and physically "held" in all of the other aspects of your life.
If you are worried about where the money is going to come from for that next mortgage payment, while in your spouse's embrace, you are going feel a pervasive fear, potentially resentment and an inability to let go and wholly trust in the relationship structure.
Money problems will leak out into the boudoir! Think about it, would you buy a house without first having a home inspection either by you or by a professional? Would you have a baby without finding out first how you would like to give birth, bathe, diaper or feed your baby? So why doesn't marriage afford the same considerations as the other important preparations made for your life? If you ask an adult or child what it is like to go through a divorce, perhaps, your consideration of this aspect of preparation for marriage will increase in your mind.
Pre-marriage counseling will also take any of the sting out of surprises such as the fact that she desperately wants a family of five and a mini-van, while he can't imagine having any children spitting up on his new leather furniture.
While your counsellor can help you pin-point some of the areas in your relationship to focus on, self-identification of unresolved emotions or karmic patterns in advance can be most illuminating.
Most folks don't even consciously recognize their preponderance to mimicking their mom and dad's negative patterns around loving, affection, communication and especially money.
Unresolved aggression or rage issues can come up and stun the individual from the sub-conscious from even pre-verbal stages.
These issues are best dealt with by a practitioner specially trained in this area of cognitive therapy and medicine.
This kind of counseling helps to address all of this repressed content where traditional talk therapy fails.
Most shocks and traumas are actually entrenched in the body at the cellular level before the biological age of three.
In fact, there is scientific proof that our entrenched beliefs and negative feelings are housed in our biological terrain in our tissues, puppeting us unknowingly as if we are possessed by the demons, the residue of our past shocks and traumas.
For example, beliefs about ourselves like, "I am not lovable" or "I don't deserve to have financial support" can be deeply entrenched, over time becoming biological armoring and unknowingly dictating the nature of our relationships.
Armoring first rigidifies our attitudes and then our bodies.
This, initially, may show up as imbalances like sleeplessness, stiffness, fatigue or stress and then eventually as a state of disease with more chronic symptoms.
If you think of yourself as a broadcasting radio station, broadcasting a frequency of "I deserve to be abandoned" from your core, you may be surprised that your outer ambient is actually picking up these frequencies and confirming, that you are indeed abandoned.
Just like a cheval mirror, your outer world is a direct mirror of your inner milieu.
This natural law is called the Law of Resonance (or the more mystical "Law of Attraction") and is just as reliable as the Law of Gravity.
If you suffer unresolved emotions such as guilt, anger, grief, resentment and fears, you are going to be plagued with this content in your relationships and it is best to leverage them for your viewing pleasure before taxing your relationship with them during pre-marriage counseling rather then harboring them and unknowingly dissolving the bonds of love over time.
Conflicts have a way of repeating over and over in a similar fashion every time.
Our gender roles have become more equal, but also confused in the 21st Century.
In many cases, our roles have reversed and we can feel like our marriages are dysfunctional due to the fact that we can't seem to sort out our roles consciously.
Pre-marriage counseling can help us to sort out why one of us is fighting for control, trying to make the other submit to goals no one has agreed to.
Before any long-term damage ensues, why not short-circuit the potential for these patterns to become entrenched.
If one of you does not agree there is a problem, sadly, you may have to end the relationship before the nuptials are taken.
In this age of burgeoning consciousness, you may really love the guy or gal, but not to the exclusion of yourself.
He or she will only be committed to you and engaging in conscious loving to the degree that you are wholly committed to yourself in the same fashion.
Issues swept under the rug now, before marriage, will only become monsters you try to keep quiet in the closet tomorrow.
Repeating mom and dad's karmic limitations on you will not bear well long term, and now is the time to deal with those issues before there is a mortgage to pay or a babe in arms.
An effective, loving partnership is a wholly renewable resource.
Healthy, life-giving communication and sexuality can feed both partners in a marriage for decades or a lifetime.
As a strong base, a loving relationship where issues are openly discussed maturely, allow for your essential selves to evolve in a loving union, a harbor from the challenges of life.
Couples who apply the tools gleaned in pre-marital counseling can unearth true resonance, actually surpassing the imagined loving embrace their parents may have had.
Forging new territory of soul imbued nurturing, support, and intimacy in order to know orgasmic potency as a modern couple.
Not only in the boudoir, but in all aspects of your life together...
and apart!
You may think that this is just a sign of the times, however, other countries do not tout the same high rates.
In India, the divorce rate is only 1%, in Japan, it's still much lower at 27%.
Most of us engaged in some form of higher education by attending a University or College to be able to practice a certain trade, art or science, however, not nearly as many of us took pre-marriage counseling as seriously.
It has actually been indicated that folks who do choose to study the dynamics of marriage, including finances, children and the art of intimacy, can save themselves a lot of potential heartache.
It has been proven that pre-marriage counseling really pays off.
Couples who have chosen to study how to be in relationship with one another were 31% less likely to divorce as per The Journal of Family Psychology, March 2006.
The way to go about engaging in effective pre-marriage counseling can include a number of options.
A member of the clergy at your church or synagogue is typically happy to host you to discuss pre-marriage counseling classes.
Also, a professional counsellor, psychologist or other health-care professional is also equipped to assist you in this regard.
It is important to choose someone who is qualified to serve you and who you both find wholly resonant to work with.
Mainly, this individual should be in a resonant relationship themselves, providing you with a feeling of comfort, inspiration and an innovative mentorship.
It is good to thing to consider fostering a long term relationship with this individual as you never know when you might go through a difficult, contractive phase in your marriage one day in the future, needing to consult with this individual again.
Most folks may not be surprised to learn that one of the biggest sources of dissonance in the marriage can be from finances.
Kathleen Caught, a lay minister and mortgage advisor astutely recognized how much money is a trigger in relationships that she wrote a book entitled, From Marriages to Mortgages.
Couples would do well to pick up a copy and study it in order to engage in this aspect of conscious loving.
Relationships are so much about learning to love each other from a place of knowledge as opposed to "magical thinking.
" Knowledge replaces fear and ignorance and only bodes well on the romantic aspect of the love relationship.
In fact, couples who courageously completed a course in pre-marriage counseling not only know longevity in their relationship, they also reported greater marital happiness, sensual intimacy, a better rate of deep commitment to one another and less conflict overall as per The Journal of Family Psychology (March, 2006).
So, if you suspect that pre-marriage counseling is going to ruin the romantic aspect of your relationship, you are wrong.
The facts totally prove otherwise.
If you think about it, sex starts in the mind and to completely let go to the orgasm reflex, you have to know that you are emotionally and physically "held" in all of the other aspects of your life.
If you are worried about where the money is going to come from for that next mortgage payment, while in your spouse's embrace, you are going feel a pervasive fear, potentially resentment and an inability to let go and wholly trust in the relationship structure.
Money problems will leak out into the boudoir! Think about it, would you buy a house without first having a home inspection either by you or by a professional? Would you have a baby without finding out first how you would like to give birth, bathe, diaper or feed your baby? So why doesn't marriage afford the same considerations as the other important preparations made for your life? If you ask an adult or child what it is like to go through a divorce, perhaps, your consideration of this aspect of preparation for marriage will increase in your mind.
Pre-marriage counseling will also take any of the sting out of surprises such as the fact that she desperately wants a family of five and a mini-van, while he can't imagine having any children spitting up on his new leather furniture.
While your counsellor can help you pin-point some of the areas in your relationship to focus on, self-identification of unresolved emotions or karmic patterns in advance can be most illuminating.
Most folks don't even consciously recognize their preponderance to mimicking their mom and dad's negative patterns around loving, affection, communication and especially money.
Unresolved aggression or rage issues can come up and stun the individual from the sub-conscious from even pre-verbal stages.
These issues are best dealt with by a practitioner specially trained in this area of cognitive therapy and medicine.
This kind of counseling helps to address all of this repressed content where traditional talk therapy fails.
Most shocks and traumas are actually entrenched in the body at the cellular level before the biological age of three.
In fact, there is scientific proof that our entrenched beliefs and negative feelings are housed in our biological terrain in our tissues, puppeting us unknowingly as if we are possessed by the demons, the residue of our past shocks and traumas.
For example, beliefs about ourselves like, "I am not lovable" or "I don't deserve to have financial support" can be deeply entrenched, over time becoming biological armoring and unknowingly dictating the nature of our relationships.
Armoring first rigidifies our attitudes and then our bodies.
This, initially, may show up as imbalances like sleeplessness, stiffness, fatigue or stress and then eventually as a state of disease with more chronic symptoms.
If you think of yourself as a broadcasting radio station, broadcasting a frequency of "I deserve to be abandoned" from your core, you may be surprised that your outer ambient is actually picking up these frequencies and confirming, that you are indeed abandoned.
Just like a cheval mirror, your outer world is a direct mirror of your inner milieu.
This natural law is called the Law of Resonance (or the more mystical "Law of Attraction") and is just as reliable as the Law of Gravity.
If you suffer unresolved emotions such as guilt, anger, grief, resentment and fears, you are going to be plagued with this content in your relationships and it is best to leverage them for your viewing pleasure before taxing your relationship with them during pre-marriage counseling rather then harboring them and unknowingly dissolving the bonds of love over time.
Conflicts have a way of repeating over and over in a similar fashion every time.
Our gender roles have become more equal, but also confused in the 21st Century.
In many cases, our roles have reversed and we can feel like our marriages are dysfunctional due to the fact that we can't seem to sort out our roles consciously.
Pre-marriage counseling can help us to sort out why one of us is fighting for control, trying to make the other submit to goals no one has agreed to.
Before any long-term damage ensues, why not short-circuit the potential for these patterns to become entrenched.
If one of you does not agree there is a problem, sadly, you may have to end the relationship before the nuptials are taken.
In this age of burgeoning consciousness, you may really love the guy or gal, but not to the exclusion of yourself.
He or she will only be committed to you and engaging in conscious loving to the degree that you are wholly committed to yourself in the same fashion.
Issues swept under the rug now, before marriage, will only become monsters you try to keep quiet in the closet tomorrow.
Repeating mom and dad's karmic limitations on you will not bear well long term, and now is the time to deal with those issues before there is a mortgage to pay or a babe in arms.
An effective, loving partnership is a wholly renewable resource.
Healthy, life-giving communication and sexuality can feed both partners in a marriage for decades or a lifetime.
As a strong base, a loving relationship where issues are openly discussed maturely, allow for your essential selves to evolve in a loving union, a harbor from the challenges of life.
Couples who apply the tools gleaned in pre-marital counseling can unearth true resonance, actually surpassing the imagined loving embrace their parents may have had.
Forging new territory of soul imbued nurturing, support, and intimacy in order to know orgasmic potency as a modern couple.
Not only in the boudoir, but in all aspects of your life together...
and apart!