How to Co-Parent with an Ex
           Trying to raise children with two parents in the household can be a struggle these days; however, what happens when parents divorce or separate? How do you co-parent with an ex that wants to have an active role in the upbringing process? I am currently in this situation, and here are some ways that have helped us to make co-parenting a little less stressful.
           When communicating with your ex, it is best to keep it as minimal as you can. Emailing, texting, and speaking through a mediator are some options you can use to alleviate disagreements that may spiral into unnecessary arguments. In order for parents to not steer off onto irrelevant topics, which doesn't relate to your children, each parent needs to stay focus on the specific issue or matter being discussed. Anytime I need to speak to my daughter's father, I have found that texting him is the best approach. It also helps for me to write my thoughts out before so I will stay on track with the conversation.  If we are having a conflict, we sometimes use his mother as our mediator.
           Another important factor when co-parenting, is for each parent to display a mutual respect for one another. It is in the children's best interest for the parents to never undermine or criticize each other, especially in front of their children. When it comes to arguing, don't involve the kids. It is unfair to put them in the middle and force them to pick a side. When it comes to my daughter, her father and I try not to expose her to any negativity about one another.
           Including the other parent on important issues concerning your children will create a positive environment for them. I try to involve my daughter's father when making decisions about my daughter. Not only does he appreciate it, but my daughter is the one who benefits from it the most. Having both parents attend activities will bring happiness to the children.
It would also be advantageous for the children if both parents could come to an agreement on parent strategies, however if they have their own views of parenting, agreeing to a common ground of parenting strategies would be best. Â In my situation with my daughter's father, there are times when we don't see eye to eye on every rule concerning my daughter. When disagreements come up, we try to be open-minded to each other's views. This has helped us to see the reasoning behind the decision and come to a compromise. Â
Problems might arise during co-parenting when it comes to the other parent's personal life, especially dating. What both parents need to do is remember it is none of their business and to only mind their own. The only time you have a right to ask questions is when it concerns or affects your children. When it came to my daughter's father and I, this was a matter that needed to be discussed. What worked for us was to come together and agree on guidelines for matters such as when is it a good time to introduce our daughter to someone new. Â
           Letting go of the anger towards your ex seems to be easier said than done, however I feel this is the most important action that needs to happen before a successful co-parent relationship can be established. When both parents are able to place their focus on the children rather than themselves, that is when the emotional obstacle is removed. I realized, when my daughter was 3 years old, it was necessary for me to leave my lingering hurt in the past and control my emotions towards my ex. Since making this decision, co-parenting with my ex has become easier.
           When it comes down to it, both parents need to remember it's not about them, but instead it's ALL about the children. When parents put effort to actively work together the children reap the rewards. For the sake of the children, it is essential for parents to form a cordial relationship so that they are able to show love and stability to their children.
          Â
           Trying to raise children with two parents in the household can be a struggle these days; however, what happens when parents divorce or separate? How do you co-parent with an ex that wants to have an active role in the upbringing process? I am currently in this situation, and here are some ways that have helped us to make co-parenting a little less stressful.
           When communicating with your ex, it is best to keep it as minimal as you can. Emailing, texting, and speaking through a mediator are some options you can use to alleviate disagreements that may spiral into unnecessary arguments. In order for parents to not steer off onto irrelevant topics, which doesn't relate to your children, each parent needs to stay focus on the specific issue or matter being discussed. Anytime I need to speak to my daughter's father, I have found that texting him is the best approach. It also helps for me to write my thoughts out before so I will stay on track with the conversation.  If we are having a conflict, we sometimes use his mother as our mediator.
           Another important factor when co-parenting, is for each parent to display a mutual respect for one another. It is in the children's best interest for the parents to never undermine or criticize each other, especially in front of their children. When it comes to arguing, don't involve the kids. It is unfair to put them in the middle and force them to pick a side. When it comes to my daughter, her father and I try not to expose her to any negativity about one another.
           Including the other parent on important issues concerning your children will create a positive environment for them. I try to involve my daughter's father when making decisions about my daughter. Not only does he appreciate it, but my daughter is the one who benefits from it the most. Having both parents attend activities will bring happiness to the children.
It would also be advantageous for the children if both parents could come to an agreement on parent strategies, however if they have their own views of parenting, agreeing to a common ground of parenting strategies would be best. Â In my situation with my daughter's father, there are times when we don't see eye to eye on every rule concerning my daughter. When disagreements come up, we try to be open-minded to each other's views. This has helped us to see the reasoning behind the decision and come to a compromise. Â
Problems might arise during co-parenting when it comes to the other parent's personal life, especially dating. What both parents need to do is remember it is none of their business and to only mind their own. The only time you have a right to ask questions is when it concerns or affects your children. When it came to my daughter's father and I, this was a matter that needed to be discussed. What worked for us was to come together and agree on guidelines for matters such as when is it a good time to introduce our daughter to someone new. Â
           Letting go of the anger towards your ex seems to be easier said than done, however I feel this is the most important action that needs to happen before a successful co-parent relationship can be established. When both parents are able to place their focus on the children rather than themselves, that is when the emotional obstacle is removed. I realized, when my daughter was 3 years old, it was necessary for me to leave my lingering hurt in the past and control my emotions towards my ex. Since making this decision, co-parenting with my ex has become easier.
           When it comes down to it, both parents need to remember it's not about them, but instead it's ALL about the children. When parents put effort to actively work together the children reap the rewards. For the sake of the children, it is essential for parents to form a cordial relationship so that they are able to show love and stability to their children.
          Â