In recent articles we've discussed several strategies for managing your emotions.
We've talked about three patterns of behavior people tend run over and over, most of the time not even aware of what they are doing.
These are patterns of focus, physiology and language.
Today I would like to talk with you about the 800 pound gorilla in the room that most people won't or don't want to acknowledge.
It's the f-word.
You know...
that's the four letter word that most people don't feel comfortable talking about.
No...
not THAT four letter word.
The f-word that I am referring to is fear.
Fear of failure..
...
fear of success,fear of flying, fear of just about anything.
Fear is what holds so many people back from living the life of their dreams.
I would like to tell you a story about something that happened to me at a multi-day personal development seminar.
To help the participants face their fears, the organizers of this event had us climb up a 50 foot telephone pole.
The objective was to climb all the way to the top, find a way to stand on the top of the pole (and if you were able to do this) thenjump off the pole and grab a trapeze bar.
There are a few things you should know about this exercise.
The first, is that I was always attached to a safety harness.
The second, is that while I was attached to the safety harness, my nervous system had NO IDEA I was attached to a safety harness!I had the same fear as if I were in a life-threatening situation.
The third point of information I would like to share with you is I have a fear of heights.
Climbing fifty feet up a telephone pole was not something I was looking forward to doing.
The pole had small pegs or steps at the bottom to help get me started, but these pegs got smaller as I got higher on the pole.
I was able to get right to the top of the pole, I had only one step more and I would be on the top...
when I made the mistake of looking down.
That was it!I was literally frozen with fear, shaking like a leaf holding on to the top of this pole for dear life while it swayed in the breeze.
Have you ever been so terrified or fearful that you couldn't move? Just when I was about to give up and ask them to send someone up to rescue me (actually...
all I had to do was let go, and they would have lowered me to the ground, but it didn't feel like that) just when I was about to give up...
I recalled the facilitator of this exercise telling our group earlier in the day that the pole was a great metaphor for life.
You see...
so many people get almost to the top in life, and thenstop...
afraid to take the next step.
They are afraid to go to the next level.
With the moderator's words echoing in my head...
I decided I was not going to let fear get the better of me in this situation.
Somehow, I was able to climb up and stand on the very top of the pole.
From there, I jumped and grabbed the trapeze and was lowered to the ground.
The pole climb forced me to face my fear of heights, which has helped me deal with it.
I have a question for you.
What are your fears?I am not asking you to dwell on them, just acknowledge them.
What are you afraid of?If your answer is nothing...
then I know that your first fear is facing the fact that you have fears, because we all have them! Once you know specifically what you are afraid of, it is so much easier to effectively deal with, rather than be consumed by the fear.
Once you more effectively deal with fear you will be in a better position to increase sales.
By the way...
courage is not the absence of fear, it is the harnessing of fear.
It is using the fear to your advantage in order to create a sense of urgency in order to gain momentum.
We all have two basic or primal fears.
Fear that somehow we're not enough, and fear that we won't be loved.
I believe there are two "antidotes" for fear.
The first one is a mantra.
You remember...
a mantra is something you say over and over to yourself in order to control your focus.
Something like:"I can do this..
..
I can do this..
...
I can do this.
" The second antidote for fear is action.
Once you begin to take action, you increase your chances to increase sales by gaining momentum.
There is no doubt that an object in motion tends to stay in motion and an object at rest tends to stay at rest.
You are much more effective at dealing with fear when you are in motion.
I have a challenge for you.
Take a couple of moments to take inventory of your fears.
Once you have acknowledged them and have written them down, try drilling down a bit and see if you can't identify what you are really afraid of.
For example...
someone who has a fear of failure, I believe really has a fear that somehow they are not enough and therefore won't be loved.
Understanding this makes it much easier to face and then conquer the fear.
Once you have the inventory of your fears (and hopefully it is not too long of a list), see if you can't come up with a mantra to more effectively deal with each fear if and when it rears its ugly head.
Give this a try for the next 30 days and see if this helps you increase sales by overcoming and better managing your fears.
We've talked about three patterns of behavior people tend run over and over, most of the time not even aware of what they are doing.
These are patterns of focus, physiology and language.
Today I would like to talk with you about the 800 pound gorilla in the room that most people won't or don't want to acknowledge.
It's the f-word.
You know...
that's the four letter word that most people don't feel comfortable talking about.
No...
not THAT four letter word.
The f-word that I am referring to is fear.
Fear of failure..
...
fear of success,fear of flying, fear of just about anything.
Fear is what holds so many people back from living the life of their dreams.
I would like to tell you a story about something that happened to me at a multi-day personal development seminar.
To help the participants face their fears, the organizers of this event had us climb up a 50 foot telephone pole.
The objective was to climb all the way to the top, find a way to stand on the top of the pole (and if you were able to do this) thenjump off the pole and grab a trapeze bar.
There are a few things you should know about this exercise.
The first, is that I was always attached to a safety harness.
The second, is that while I was attached to the safety harness, my nervous system had NO IDEA I was attached to a safety harness!I had the same fear as if I were in a life-threatening situation.
The third point of information I would like to share with you is I have a fear of heights.
Climbing fifty feet up a telephone pole was not something I was looking forward to doing.
The pole had small pegs or steps at the bottom to help get me started, but these pegs got smaller as I got higher on the pole.
I was able to get right to the top of the pole, I had only one step more and I would be on the top...
when I made the mistake of looking down.
That was it!I was literally frozen with fear, shaking like a leaf holding on to the top of this pole for dear life while it swayed in the breeze.
Have you ever been so terrified or fearful that you couldn't move? Just when I was about to give up and ask them to send someone up to rescue me (actually...
all I had to do was let go, and they would have lowered me to the ground, but it didn't feel like that) just when I was about to give up...
I recalled the facilitator of this exercise telling our group earlier in the day that the pole was a great metaphor for life.
You see...
so many people get almost to the top in life, and thenstop...
afraid to take the next step.
They are afraid to go to the next level.
With the moderator's words echoing in my head...
I decided I was not going to let fear get the better of me in this situation.
Somehow, I was able to climb up and stand on the very top of the pole.
From there, I jumped and grabbed the trapeze and was lowered to the ground.
The pole climb forced me to face my fear of heights, which has helped me deal with it.
I have a question for you.
What are your fears?I am not asking you to dwell on them, just acknowledge them.
What are you afraid of?If your answer is nothing...
then I know that your first fear is facing the fact that you have fears, because we all have them! Once you know specifically what you are afraid of, it is so much easier to effectively deal with, rather than be consumed by the fear.
Once you more effectively deal with fear you will be in a better position to increase sales.
By the way...
courage is not the absence of fear, it is the harnessing of fear.
It is using the fear to your advantage in order to create a sense of urgency in order to gain momentum.
We all have two basic or primal fears.
Fear that somehow we're not enough, and fear that we won't be loved.
I believe there are two "antidotes" for fear.
The first one is a mantra.
You remember...
a mantra is something you say over and over to yourself in order to control your focus.
Something like:"I can do this..
..
I can do this..
...
I can do this.
" The second antidote for fear is action.
Once you begin to take action, you increase your chances to increase sales by gaining momentum.
There is no doubt that an object in motion tends to stay in motion and an object at rest tends to stay at rest.
You are much more effective at dealing with fear when you are in motion.
I have a challenge for you.
Take a couple of moments to take inventory of your fears.
Once you have acknowledged them and have written them down, try drilling down a bit and see if you can't identify what you are really afraid of.
For example...
someone who has a fear of failure, I believe really has a fear that somehow they are not enough and therefore won't be loved.
Understanding this makes it much easier to face and then conquer the fear.
Once you have the inventory of your fears (and hopefully it is not too long of a list), see if you can't come up with a mantra to more effectively deal with each fear if and when it rears its ugly head.
Give this a try for the next 30 days and see if this helps you increase sales by overcoming and better managing your fears.