Learn how you can teach people how to manage their emotions.
Train your team how to take control of their emotional roller coasters.
As leaders, we need to teach the members of our team how to react in certain situations and how to master their emotions.
I bet you're thinking, "You've got to be kidding.
That's crazy! That's difficult!" Difficult? Maybe.
But crazy? Not really.
Just as employees need to learn about their jobs and the policies and procedures at the office, they also need to learn about their emotional intelligence.
Poor management of emotions can lead to poor decision-making skills, anxiety, stress, and eventually, failure.
Of course, we don't want to set up our people to fail.
We want them to succeed because their success is the organization's success, too! The good news is, you can help your team manage their emotions by helping them increase their emotional intelligence or EI.
According to Dr.
Karen Hansen, an active researcher about EI at the Swinburne University of Technology in Australia, "Unlike our IQ which appears to be difficult to improve relative to our standing with others, EI is a trait that can develop and grow," she says.
"That means people can improve core competencies and acquire new EI capabilities over a lifetime...
if they are provided with the right tools.
" Aside from knowing that this can be learned, I have also provided some helpful tips on how you can teach emotional intelligence to your team.
Before anything else, I want to let you know that emotional intelligence can be developed through high-interaction activities.
I am referring to those that promote communication and sharing of ideas.
You don't necessarily have to limit your activities to the ones I am going to mention.
Besides, each team has unique qualities and needs.
So, I encourage you to be creative and, most importantly, have fun! Also, as a leader, you are expected to model the behavior.
As the teacher, you have the most influence in their learning because the participants will learn from you.
Set the stage for successfully teaching EI by using the basic principles yourself.
Remember that people learn more from modeling and instruction than instruction alone.
Start with an ice breaker to warm (or shake) things up.
This is very simple and is one of the commonly used strategies to break the ice and get people to know each other.
It is best to do this kind of activity if you were assigned to a new team and people don't know each other.
Or, it can also be used to break a boring atmosphere in a classroom or meeting.
Try this: Ask people to tape a piece of bond paper on their back.
Then, ask them to go around the room and write their first impression on the person's back.
As soon as everyone's done writing a one-word adjective to describe the first impression, discuss what comments they got and how they felt about it.
Now what does this activity do? One, people will gain some perspective on how others see them based on their first impressions.
Two, they have the chance to get to know more about the members of the group by validating and invalidating the first impressions that they received from their peers.
It's important to let the participants know that the comments that they got are not very reliable because these are first impressions only.
By setting this expectation, you're reducing the chances of having heated arguments among the participants.
Instead, tell them that it's their chance to introduce themselves and to know more about their peers! Role-playing and simulations are also effective ways of teaching emotional intelligence.
Not all learners are able to fully express themselves directly.
Some learners find it easier to reveal themselves through a fictitious role.
The Teaching English group of the Bristish Council (BBC) can attest to this.
"Guided fantasy and drama techniques are useful tools.
However, these simulations should be carefully set up and related to the real world.
" The key is to use situations that really happen in the workplace.
Examples are how to deal with people who spread gossip in the office, how to react to a verbal and demanding client, how to get a customer's agreement to buy a product, or how to deal with office romance.
The trick is to come up with real-life situations and check how these participants would react to such situations.
It is good to follow up each role-play with a discussion.
What do the participants think? If they were in that situation, what would they do? Then, share best practices - what is the best way to deal with such situations? This technique is pretty simple, but what's good about this is that it not only encourages people to participate, but it also helps people get some ideas on how to better deal with tricky situations.
Give the team a group activity or project.
This kind of activity requires members of the team to work with others.
It promotes cooperation and teamwork, and builds a healthy competition.
I can still remember during one of the workshops I attended in the past wherein we were asked to wear rubber shoes during that session.
Later on, we found out that the group will be divided into two, and we were having a jumping rope competition.
Two members of the team will hold the ropes for us while the remaining members will have to jump together.
We were asked to leap as many as we can without tripping over the rope.
Each team developed so many techniques on how we can get as many consecutive jumps as we can to win the competition.
After the activity, our facilitator asked us why we did that activity.
One of the participants answered, "Rope skipping is pretty much similar to working.
People have the same goals [getting as much jumps without tripping].
The task also requires that we work harmoniously with others because if we don't, we fail.
" Group activities like this not only promotes teamwork, but it also facilitates the exploration of feelings and emotions.
The key is to ask the right questions! Who decided on what technique to follow? Who thought differently? What do they think of their performance? What caused the success? How about the failure? These questions could lead you to meaningful answers and, of course, a gate to understanding the feelings and emotions of each participant regarding themselves and their team's performance.
Watch your language! "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
" Proverbs 12:18.
For years, we have been warned to be careful about the things we say to others.
There are a lot verses in the Bible and quotes from the most popular philosophers, writers, teachers, and heroes that talk about watching our language.
It is because these great people saw the wisdom in using the right words during the right situations.
Why do we have to be careful and thoughtful about the things that we say anyway? When teaching EI, it's easy to use phrases that put people on defensive mode.
Set an example and avoid passing judgments and probing prematurely into others' feelings and emotions.
Know your boundaries so that you will not halt the learning process.
Remember that as the teacher and leader, they see you as the one most knowledgeable among the group about EI.
Your team must see your emotional intelligence emanate from you through leading by example.
If you are able to do this, you increase your credibility, and you encourage the team to do the same.
Create and maintain a positive learning environment.
One of the challenging things about teaching EI in a group is teaching them how to become optimists.
This not only fosters a healthy learning environment, but also a good training ground to learn more about optimism.
People who are able to stay happy or positive during difficult and demanding situations are more likely to succeed than pessimists.
As a leader, what can you do to build this atmosphere? How could you show the silver lining during unhappy situations? As a leader, it is your responsibility to check on how each member of the team progresses in their jobs.
Providing timely coaching sessions is a good way to start.
A coaching session is a great opportunity to catch up on each team member and how they're doing.
It's the best time to ask about the challenges they face and their plans on how to resolve these problems.
It's not enough to give encouraging words, it is also recommended that you offer your help and support.
This act of concern helps people get through tough times.
Aside from asking them, "What are you going to do about it?" it is more heartening for someone to hear, "What can I do to help?" Evaluate, evaluate, evaluate.
This is one of the most common blunders that a trainer/leader could commit.
A post-training assessment would be very helpful because this is where you will get information and feedback about your trainees - things that you will not usually get out of group discussions.
One way of doing this is through providing a short self-efficacy test.
This is simply a test asking the participants' feedback on what they have learned and how much these new learning would help them in their jobs.
It's also about measuring how confident they are to perform their tasks after the training.
It doesn't just stop there.
To know more on how to make a self-efficacy assessment that you can customize for your team, visit the Information in the Self-Efficacy: A Community of Scholars website.
It would also be helpful if you track their performance months after receiving the training.
The data that you will get will show you the strengths and weaknesses of your teaching techniques.
This is also a good method to identify what can be done to make the trainings more effective and, most importantly, to help the team.
Emotionally intelligent leaders know how to develop the best talents within their organization.
You are actually honing your emotional intelligence by sharing what you know to your people.
It may be a tough job but it has its rewards as well.
Train your team how to take control of their emotional roller coasters.
As leaders, we need to teach the members of our team how to react in certain situations and how to master their emotions.
I bet you're thinking, "You've got to be kidding.
That's crazy! That's difficult!" Difficult? Maybe.
But crazy? Not really.
Just as employees need to learn about their jobs and the policies and procedures at the office, they also need to learn about their emotional intelligence.
Poor management of emotions can lead to poor decision-making skills, anxiety, stress, and eventually, failure.
Of course, we don't want to set up our people to fail.
We want them to succeed because their success is the organization's success, too! The good news is, you can help your team manage their emotions by helping them increase their emotional intelligence or EI.
According to Dr.
Karen Hansen, an active researcher about EI at the Swinburne University of Technology in Australia, "Unlike our IQ which appears to be difficult to improve relative to our standing with others, EI is a trait that can develop and grow," she says.
"That means people can improve core competencies and acquire new EI capabilities over a lifetime...
if they are provided with the right tools.
" Aside from knowing that this can be learned, I have also provided some helpful tips on how you can teach emotional intelligence to your team.
Before anything else, I want to let you know that emotional intelligence can be developed through high-interaction activities.
I am referring to those that promote communication and sharing of ideas.
You don't necessarily have to limit your activities to the ones I am going to mention.
Besides, each team has unique qualities and needs.
So, I encourage you to be creative and, most importantly, have fun! Also, as a leader, you are expected to model the behavior.
As the teacher, you have the most influence in their learning because the participants will learn from you.
Set the stage for successfully teaching EI by using the basic principles yourself.
Remember that people learn more from modeling and instruction than instruction alone.
Start with an ice breaker to warm (or shake) things up.
This is very simple and is one of the commonly used strategies to break the ice and get people to know each other.
It is best to do this kind of activity if you were assigned to a new team and people don't know each other.
Or, it can also be used to break a boring atmosphere in a classroom or meeting.
Try this: Ask people to tape a piece of bond paper on their back.
Then, ask them to go around the room and write their first impression on the person's back.
As soon as everyone's done writing a one-word adjective to describe the first impression, discuss what comments they got and how they felt about it.
Now what does this activity do? One, people will gain some perspective on how others see them based on their first impressions.
Two, they have the chance to get to know more about the members of the group by validating and invalidating the first impressions that they received from their peers.
It's important to let the participants know that the comments that they got are not very reliable because these are first impressions only.
By setting this expectation, you're reducing the chances of having heated arguments among the participants.
Instead, tell them that it's their chance to introduce themselves and to know more about their peers! Role-playing and simulations are also effective ways of teaching emotional intelligence.
Not all learners are able to fully express themselves directly.
Some learners find it easier to reveal themselves through a fictitious role.
The Teaching English group of the Bristish Council (BBC) can attest to this.
"Guided fantasy and drama techniques are useful tools.
However, these simulations should be carefully set up and related to the real world.
" The key is to use situations that really happen in the workplace.
Examples are how to deal with people who spread gossip in the office, how to react to a verbal and demanding client, how to get a customer's agreement to buy a product, or how to deal with office romance.
The trick is to come up with real-life situations and check how these participants would react to such situations.
It is good to follow up each role-play with a discussion.
What do the participants think? If they were in that situation, what would they do? Then, share best practices - what is the best way to deal with such situations? This technique is pretty simple, but what's good about this is that it not only encourages people to participate, but it also helps people get some ideas on how to better deal with tricky situations.
Give the team a group activity or project.
This kind of activity requires members of the team to work with others.
It promotes cooperation and teamwork, and builds a healthy competition.
I can still remember during one of the workshops I attended in the past wherein we were asked to wear rubber shoes during that session.
Later on, we found out that the group will be divided into two, and we were having a jumping rope competition.
Two members of the team will hold the ropes for us while the remaining members will have to jump together.
We were asked to leap as many as we can without tripping over the rope.
Each team developed so many techniques on how we can get as many consecutive jumps as we can to win the competition.
After the activity, our facilitator asked us why we did that activity.
One of the participants answered, "Rope skipping is pretty much similar to working.
People have the same goals [getting as much jumps without tripping].
The task also requires that we work harmoniously with others because if we don't, we fail.
" Group activities like this not only promotes teamwork, but it also facilitates the exploration of feelings and emotions.
The key is to ask the right questions! Who decided on what technique to follow? Who thought differently? What do they think of their performance? What caused the success? How about the failure? These questions could lead you to meaningful answers and, of course, a gate to understanding the feelings and emotions of each participant regarding themselves and their team's performance.
Watch your language! "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
" Proverbs 12:18.
For years, we have been warned to be careful about the things we say to others.
There are a lot verses in the Bible and quotes from the most popular philosophers, writers, teachers, and heroes that talk about watching our language.
It is because these great people saw the wisdom in using the right words during the right situations.
Why do we have to be careful and thoughtful about the things that we say anyway? When teaching EI, it's easy to use phrases that put people on defensive mode.
Set an example and avoid passing judgments and probing prematurely into others' feelings and emotions.
Know your boundaries so that you will not halt the learning process.
Remember that as the teacher and leader, they see you as the one most knowledgeable among the group about EI.
Your team must see your emotional intelligence emanate from you through leading by example.
If you are able to do this, you increase your credibility, and you encourage the team to do the same.
Create and maintain a positive learning environment.
One of the challenging things about teaching EI in a group is teaching them how to become optimists.
This not only fosters a healthy learning environment, but also a good training ground to learn more about optimism.
People who are able to stay happy or positive during difficult and demanding situations are more likely to succeed than pessimists.
As a leader, what can you do to build this atmosphere? How could you show the silver lining during unhappy situations? As a leader, it is your responsibility to check on how each member of the team progresses in their jobs.
Providing timely coaching sessions is a good way to start.
A coaching session is a great opportunity to catch up on each team member and how they're doing.
It's the best time to ask about the challenges they face and their plans on how to resolve these problems.
It's not enough to give encouraging words, it is also recommended that you offer your help and support.
This act of concern helps people get through tough times.
Aside from asking them, "What are you going to do about it?" it is more heartening for someone to hear, "What can I do to help?" Evaluate, evaluate, evaluate.
This is one of the most common blunders that a trainer/leader could commit.
A post-training assessment would be very helpful because this is where you will get information and feedback about your trainees - things that you will not usually get out of group discussions.
One way of doing this is through providing a short self-efficacy test.
This is simply a test asking the participants' feedback on what they have learned and how much these new learning would help them in their jobs.
It's also about measuring how confident they are to perform their tasks after the training.
It doesn't just stop there.
To know more on how to make a self-efficacy assessment that you can customize for your team, visit the Information in the Self-Efficacy: A Community of Scholars website.
It would also be helpful if you track their performance months after receiving the training.
The data that you will get will show you the strengths and weaknesses of your teaching techniques.
This is also a good method to identify what can be done to make the trainings more effective and, most importantly, to help the team.
Emotionally intelligent leaders know how to develop the best talents within their organization.
You are actually honing your emotional intelligence by sharing what you know to your people.
It may be a tough job but it has its rewards as well.