Dealing with Adult Kids part 2

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I was a healthy independent person til one day out of the blue all that was gone. I suffered for three years being bedridden. Finally I got lucky and was diagnosed as Fibromyalgia. It wasn't a very common illness at that time. It is now.

Before they put a name to the illness my son and daughter-in-law would come to visit. Her mother lives in the next county from me and I dislike her mother. They would tell me to get out of bed and start doing things.

And my daughter in-law told some of her pains like I was looking for sympathy.

When they found out this was actually a serious illness that affects everything from your mind to your joints they were more sympathetic. Sometimes when they visited he was very concerned and loving and she was nice too. Then there were other times he would just go off on a tangent and I had to ask him to leave.

After that I had no cartilage left in my knees so I needed a Total Knee Replacement operation. On both my knees, my son insisted he be there so he came from NY only to find out minutes before the operation was to take place they couldn't do it because of a blood problem. I had the operation done by another surgeon and I asked my son not to come as he was still working.

After being home from the hospital I wasn't feeling well at all so I went to my primary physician who is a cardiologist and he said I suffered heart failure and a heart attack which he said was brought on by the anesthetic from the operation.

I want to tell you this doctor treats me like I wish my son would. He goes over and beyond his care for me. Does extensive tests when necessary and never charges me just accepts the medicare allowance.

I have been his patient for many years and one time was a basket case because my son and I had an argument. That was the only time we ever discussed my relationship with my son. No my doctor never met my son.

When I was married I was very generous to my son and I guess he remembered that so he bought me am electric recliner to be able to get in and out of the chair with little trouble. I was very touched. It will be three years in April since the replacements and I can walk in the house with out an aide but I don't in the street because I don't have that confidence.

During both my illnesses Jewish Family Service found out about my needs and have been exceptional to me. Sending me help me personally and keeping my home in clean and orderly fashion. They send me a food package every month.

I live on my social security check which is a joke. I got one dollar increase last year and a two dollar increase this year. All the monies I saved went for doctors over the three years of my illness. I even went to Texas thinking I could be cured. That was a medical scam as well as the eleven doctors I went to that took financial advantage of me.

I became very reclusive during my illness mourning the death of my good health. So I don't have any friends and I don't even want to think about going to Senior Centers. I love my web and I'm on it most of the day.

I have written about my experience (even in About newsletter) that I had with FM and written in knee replacement news letters about my experience. Because of those articles I get alot of emails from people suffering with FM from all parts of the world and the knee replacements.

Can you believe I would venture a guess and say I've received at least two hundred emails. Yes I'm lonely but I manage to keep a positive attitude about being grateful getting to this age and wanting nothing more than to have a good relationship with my son for more than a few weeks.

Do you think it's possible to have this with out my son's wife. If he wants a relationship with me at all.

Thank you again for showing an interest in my unhappiness. It surely doesn't make me feel better but I know my relationship or rather no relationship with my son is not unique. Living in Florida you hear about many of these horror stories.

Read Sheri and Bob's answer
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