How To Get Your Ex Back: Focus On The Passion Instead Of The Problem
In Neuro Linguistic Programming (a language for the mind), there is an approach call outcome based thinking. In terms of outcome based thinking, it is a paradigm where we do things that can help us to achieve a specific outcome. This also means we do not let the negative emotions to stop us from achieving our intended outcome.
If you want to win back your ex or fix a relationship, the key here is to focus on the passion in your relationship. There is no need to focus on the problems because we already have enough of problems in our daily life. You have just got to shift your focus from problem-focused to passion-focused.
One of the things you and your partner can do is to try to talk about the sweet memories that both of you shared. For an example, you can try to look back at photos where both of you shared sweet memories together. I know it is hard to do this when you are emotional, but this is a start to winning back your ex if you know how to focus on the right things.
Big problems in a relationship will almost fix themselves if there is enough passion in a relationship... BUT... Even the smallest problems will seem like mountains if there's NO passion. A small emotionally charged date will go much farther healing a relationship... than having a two hours conversation about why the affair happened. When you talked about WHY the affair or infidelity happened, you will only strengthened the reason WHY both of you should not be together.
Even though human beings are emotional. The type of emotions that we can experience at any moment is either 2 or 3 emotions. A type of positive emotion can lead to another positive emotion. In this case, if you focus on growing passion in your relationship with your partner, forgiveness can follows.
One of the things that you and your partner need to talk about is, WHY both of you are together in the first place. There must be a strong reason WHY both of you started the relationship in the beginning. There must be at least some positive attributes that you see in each other that generate at least some attraction for both of you to start the relationship.
As a summary, if you want to make the relationship works, you have to focus on growing the passion and not the problem.