Going through a divorce is painful enough, but what is even harder is what comes after it. How then do you deal with a former spouse, especially when you still care about him or her? Simple: Reconcile with him or her. Trying to reconcile marriage may sound quite straightforward, but it isn't really – not when you are dealing with emotions and really difficult decisions that will affect both partners in the long run. However, even though this is painful and hard, trying to reconcile after divorce is so worth it – just ask couples who have been there and back.

There are different ways to reconcile after a divorce, and some will work only for other people. Overall, it really depends on how you approach the situation, and how far you are willing to go to save your marriage and in learning how to win your wife back. And learning how to win her back will also be a learning experience for you personally, as you will learn to give of yourself and be humble when it is called for.

Ladies, this also goes for you – learning how to get your man back is a long and tedious process worth going through. Still love the guy? Then you will have to find a way to win back his heart. Here are some tips on how to win him back.

• Offer friendship and don't expect.

Sometimes, when a marriage has really been ruined by divorce, the best thing to do is start afresh. Offer him nothing but true friendship. While it may be tainted by your divorce, this is the best thing that you can give him as it will give both of you the chance to get to know each other again and discover how each one has changed during the marriage. Hopefully, over the course of time, you will learn how to re-appreciate each other – this could build a solid foundation for a joyous reconciliation.

• Take responsibility for your mistakes.

Pride is probably one of both men and women's Achilles heels, a weakness that could hinder both of them from saving their marriage altogether. While it takes two to tango (or in this case, to ruin a marriage), your partner will highly appreciate it if you owned up to your own actions and stopped pointing fingers at him every time a mistake is mentioned. This is something that your partner will have to learn to do as well.

• Decide to work it out.

It all begins with a decision. You both decided to get married, and you both decided to get a divorce. These are all major life-changing decisions, and you can just as well decide to work things out between the two of you. For this to work, both of you must be willing to give it a go and go the extra mile, so that in the end, you won't be regretting a single thing or asking yourself the dreaded what-ifs.