Most would agree that separation and divorce are never ideal for anyone involved. We have all heard that the effects of divorce on children are far worse than the financial and emotional effect on the adults involved. However, when couple's decide to end their marriage, it affects not only their children but their parents, siblings, and friends as well. Everyone involved in the couple's lives are affected to some degree.
Infants and Young Children
Let us face facts, infants and young children grow attached to their primary caregiver. The person that not only feeds them, but also responds to their needs is irreplaceably to a young child. Separating young children from the primary caregiver should be avoided whenever possible. That, however, is not always what takes place.
Couple's go into court throwing accusations at one another varying from alcohol and drug abuse to domestic violence to not being a good housekeeper to being an awful person who is a terrible influence on the children. While there are many times when violence and forms of abuse are happening within a marriage, there is an increasing number of men and women who simply lie in court.
Custody fights during divorce are commonplace and can go on for years. Young children sometimes find themselves very lonely and frustrated as this continues. For a young child a separation and/or divorce is life changing and can very well be life altering. As hard as it is for adults to accept and adjust, it is one hundred percent harder for children.
Pre-Teens and Teenagers
When older children are faced with parent's separating or a divorce, they experience sorrow, loss, guilt, and even anger. These feelings can cause low self-esteem, which in turn can affect many aspects of their lives. Studies show that children from separated or divorced families tend to make lower grades in school, develop behavior problems, drink, use drugs, and become sexually active at an earlier age.
Oftentimes children have to move, leaving their friends, school, and home behind. Feelings of isolation, anxiety, and depression may begin to develop. At a time in their lives when puberty, insecurity, and peer pressure are effort enough, separation and divorce can be overwhelming. Anger can easily become a problem and lead to anger control issues that persist throughout adulthood.
Grown Children
Even adult children are affected in some way by their parents separating or getting a divorce. Grown children are more likely to find themselves in the middle of parents separating. Because the children are adult themselves, it is easy for the parents to forget that they are not €friends€ there to lean on during a separation.
Even grown children feel a sense of sadness when their parents separate. It is also common for the house the children grew up in to be sold in these situations, causing in some cases a deep sense of loss.
Parents and Grandparents
Divorce affects the couple's children and their relationships with their grandparents. Grandparents that were once close to their grandchildren may no longer see them much, or at all in many cases. Children and grandparents experience a relationship unlike any other. For something to interfere with that bond is distressing to both.
Siblings
Siblings of the couple separating face a similar situation as do grandparents. If they are close to the separating couple's children, the relationship they have with them may suffer. Oftentimes siblings become close to their brother or sister in-law and during a separation or divorce feel as though they are losing someone important to them as well.
Friends
Couples sometimes have mutual friends who feel pressured into choosing to remain friends with one or the other. This happens most often with other couples. The result is loss of friends.
While no one should remain in an abusive or unhappy relationship, when couples separate it is at a big adjustment at the least for anyone close. If you are considering a separation or divorce, you should re-consider how it would affect everyone in your life whom you care for sincerely. Young children in the household should remain both partners' main concern.
Infants and Young Children
Let us face facts, infants and young children grow attached to their primary caregiver. The person that not only feeds them, but also responds to their needs is irreplaceably to a young child. Separating young children from the primary caregiver should be avoided whenever possible. That, however, is not always what takes place.
Couple's go into court throwing accusations at one another varying from alcohol and drug abuse to domestic violence to not being a good housekeeper to being an awful person who is a terrible influence on the children. While there are many times when violence and forms of abuse are happening within a marriage, there is an increasing number of men and women who simply lie in court.
Custody fights during divorce are commonplace and can go on for years. Young children sometimes find themselves very lonely and frustrated as this continues. For a young child a separation and/or divorce is life changing and can very well be life altering. As hard as it is for adults to accept and adjust, it is one hundred percent harder for children.
Pre-Teens and Teenagers
When older children are faced with parent's separating or a divorce, they experience sorrow, loss, guilt, and even anger. These feelings can cause low self-esteem, which in turn can affect many aspects of their lives. Studies show that children from separated or divorced families tend to make lower grades in school, develop behavior problems, drink, use drugs, and become sexually active at an earlier age.
Oftentimes children have to move, leaving their friends, school, and home behind. Feelings of isolation, anxiety, and depression may begin to develop. At a time in their lives when puberty, insecurity, and peer pressure are effort enough, separation and divorce can be overwhelming. Anger can easily become a problem and lead to anger control issues that persist throughout adulthood.
Grown Children
Even adult children are affected in some way by their parents separating or getting a divorce. Grown children are more likely to find themselves in the middle of parents separating. Because the children are adult themselves, it is easy for the parents to forget that they are not €friends€ there to lean on during a separation.
Even grown children feel a sense of sadness when their parents separate. It is also common for the house the children grew up in to be sold in these situations, causing in some cases a deep sense of loss.
Parents and Grandparents
Divorce affects the couple's children and their relationships with their grandparents. Grandparents that were once close to their grandchildren may no longer see them much, or at all in many cases. Children and grandparents experience a relationship unlike any other. For something to interfere with that bond is distressing to both.
Siblings
Siblings of the couple separating face a similar situation as do grandparents. If they are close to the separating couple's children, the relationship they have with them may suffer. Oftentimes siblings become close to their brother or sister in-law and during a separation or divorce feel as though they are losing someone important to them as well.
Friends
Couples sometimes have mutual friends who feel pressured into choosing to remain friends with one or the other. This happens most often with other couples. The result is loss of friends.
While no one should remain in an abusive or unhappy relationship, when couples separate it is at a big adjustment at the least for anyone close. If you are considering a separation or divorce, you should re-consider how it would affect everyone in your life whom you care for sincerely. Young children in the household should remain both partners' main concern.