Sometimes, even the most strongest of marriages won't be able to withstand such a high level of deceit that is implicit in an illicit affair.
The question you should ask yourself is whether you want your marriage to survive.
This has to be something that both of you want.
Because it is going to take the resources of you both to overcome the damage that having an affair has done to your marriage.
If you are the injured partner and your spouse has had the affair, you will have so many feelings of anger, bitterness and frustration and also wonder what it was that you did to deserve this.
If there are children then this makes the situation all the more difficult because children will find it difficult coming to terms with something like this, that their mother or father loves someone else.
Even if the affair was born out of lust or passion and there is no real love, children won't really understand this and you might not want to tell them all the details.
The only time it will really affect children is if the married couple decide that they really don't want to be together any more or the level of trust and honesty that has broken down has been irreparably damaged.
If you are going to go the way of a divorce, then you will need to be careful how you tell the children and begin the process of splitting up your family.
For many couples, however, the effect of an affair can make the marriage stronger as couples realize how much they have to lose and don't want their marriage to end.
They can use marriage counseling and couples therapy to explore their feelings and to rebuild their trust and relationship back up again.
Often, they will end up with a stronger marriage.
This is because when you come so close to losing something that has taken years to build up, such as a marriage that started off good, with good intentions, when you come this close to losing it all for something that might have been a one-night stand or very short lived at that, many people realize what is at stake.
They then want to put everything right again and really appreciate just what it is that they have.
For these couples, rediscovering their romance, finding the spark re-learning what it was that attracted them to each other so many years ago, can be found once again.
The question you should ask yourself is whether you want your marriage to survive.
This has to be something that both of you want.
Because it is going to take the resources of you both to overcome the damage that having an affair has done to your marriage.
If you are the injured partner and your spouse has had the affair, you will have so many feelings of anger, bitterness and frustration and also wonder what it was that you did to deserve this.
If there are children then this makes the situation all the more difficult because children will find it difficult coming to terms with something like this, that their mother or father loves someone else.
Even if the affair was born out of lust or passion and there is no real love, children won't really understand this and you might not want to tell them all the details.
The only time it will really affect children is if the married couple decide that they really don't want to be together any more or the level of trust and honesty that has broken down has been irreparably damaged.
If you are going to go the way of a divorce, then you will need to be careful how you tell the children and begin the process of splitting up your family.
For many couples, however, the effect of an affair can make the marriage stronger as couples realize how much they have to lose and don't want their marriage to end.
They can use marriage counseling and couples therapy to explore their feelings and to rebuild their trust and relationship back up again.
Often, they will end up with a stronger marriage.
This is because when you come so close to losing something that has taken years to build up, such as a marriage that started off good, with good intentions, when you come this close to losing it all for something that might have been a one-night stand or very short lived at that, many people realize what is at stake.
They then want to put everything right again and really appreciate just what it is that they have.
For these couples, rediscovering their romance, finding the spark re-learning what it was that attracted them to each other so many years ago, can be found once again.