Step-by-Step for a Bar Mitzvah

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    • 1). Join a local Jewish synagogue as a family. Regularly attend their religious services.

    • 2). Enroll your son in Hebrew school no later than his 11th birthday if he is to have his bar mitzvah at the age of 13; however, Hebrew schools start classes with children as young as kindergarten age. In Hebrew school, your child will learn about the teachings of the Jewish religion and the fundamentals of the Hebrew language. Synagogues typically require children to have completed at least two years of Hebrew school in order to be considered for a bar mitzvah. In addition to Hebrew school, a number of families also hire private Hebrew tutors for their children.

    • 3). Arrange for your son to receive bar mitzvah confirmation with your local synagogue.

    • 4). Organize the party. It can be as simple or as elaborate as your family wishes and your budget allows. On the simpler side, consider a formal dinner party at your home with all of your son's extended family. On the more elaborate side, consider a rented reception hall, live entertainment and inviting all your son's extended family as well as his Jewish and non-Jewish friends and neighbors. In either case, you should arrange for a bar mitzvah cake to be served at the party.

    • 5). Buy or get your son's bar mitzvah gift ready. Some appropriate gifts include: cash, gift certificates, savings bonds and tefillin, which are tiny parchment scolls containing passages of the Torah that are kept in small leather boxes and bound to the arms and the head.

    • 6). Attend your son's synagogue reading, which is often called an Aliyah; this is the most religious portion of the bar mitzvah rituals. During a religious service at the synagogue, your son will be called up in front of the whole congregation to read passages from the Torah scroll in Hebrew. He may also be asked to lead the congregation in prayer services or give a speech about specific Torah passages.

    • 7). Attend the party with your son. You may give your gift to your son before, during or after the party, but all the guests will bring their gifts to the party.

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