Divorce is an excruciating process.
What was once love can be flipped overnight into venomous hate.
Promises are broken and hearts stabbed.
It's hard to fathom how anyone gets through such devastation, but if handled correctly you can come out with minor bruises, leading a happy life.
There are many fears that come up during the divorce process that can leave you paralyzed, but if you understand them and prepare yourself you can move through the fear, heal yourself and create a healthy new life.
Here's the top five fears that come up during a divorce and what you can do about them.

• Fear of Survival
• Survival is a basic need of man.
  Marriage offers an opportunity for a team to work together in creating a healthy living environment.
  When a marriage breaks apart, what was once done by two people has to be accomplished by one.
  Survival instincts take over, making it seem increasingly daunting as to how one will get by.
  With the down economy now, the fear of survival keeps couples in unhealthy marriages for substantially longer then intended.
  The fear how the couple will get by on their own after the break-up keeps them living together, simply because of a lack for a solution.
  
• A good solution for this is to first set yourself up with a good job or your own business in the marriage.
  Take courses, which will lead to a better job, outline a business plan, seek guidance from successful peers and take steps toward getting income that will support you, while still in the marriage.
  
• Fear of Losing The Children and The Emotional Effect It Has On Them
• This is a reality for many parents.
  Either parents agree peaceful on a residential home the kids, they share the children equally or a bitter battle occurs during the divorce process.
  Either way, no one wins.
  The children lose time with a parent, and at times lose a parent all together, or the children become part of an ongoing war.
  Children can be caught in the middle, whether the parents intended it or not.
  Emotions can get so wrapped up that sometimes a bitter parent can't help themselves, and uses the children as a tool to hurt the other parent.
  
• In order to avoid a catastrophe from happening, make a decision in aiming for the most loving, peaceful solution for everyone involved, including your soon to be ex.
  Ask yourself along the way, everyday, "what is the most peaceful solution for everyone?" In this way, you will be able to avoid unnecessary pain for you and your children.
  
• Fear of Being Alone
• People move from one bad relationship to another, simply because they are so fearful of being alone.
  They stay in unhealthy marriages because being alone seems far worse then the pain they experience everyday in their relationship.
  
• In order to get through this fear, realize that when embracing a new life, even if it means being alone for a time, it gives you a chance to open up to new possibilities, new people and a new outcome.
  Learning to embrace alone time, instead of fearing it can open up your world.
  Take the time in being alone before the break-up.
  Notice how you feel.
  Ask yourself if you're alright.
  Chances are if you feel calm during your alone time, while still in the marriage, you'll cherish your alone time outside of it too.
  It will be your time to heal and rediscover yourself.
  
• Fear of Management
• This fear is similar to survival but slightly different.
  People stay in unhealthy relationships simply because they are unsure if they'll be able to manage home, work, kids and play.
  
• Realize that your schedule will change.
  Becoming organized helps.
  Learning to manage a household on your own might seem scary but is doable.
  Remember when you first had a baby and you didn't know how you will take care of your baby alone, but you learned and you did.
  The same is true for your new life.
  You will get into a new routine and will learn to manage in a new way.
  
• Fear of Failure
• We all have ideas in our head of what success means.
  Some perceive an unbroken marriage as success.
  Some perceive financial freedom as success.
  Some perceive healthy children as success.
  When going through a divorce, feelings of failure are common.
  Our picture of what we deemed as success is broken and so we feel broken, inadequate.
  We try desperately to hold onto a picture of what our success looks like, whether it's our reality or not.
  The idea of divorce can seem like we failed.
  
• In order to move through this fear, realize that your idea of failure is simply an idea.
  Realize you have had many successes in life and the break-up of a marriage, in no way reflects failure in your part.
  Easier said then done, it's important to now notice some of the successes you've enjoyed in your life.
  Realize that your relationship was a success, because it served it's purpose and was perfect for however long it lasted.
  Holding onto a broken picture will not fix it.
  If you know it's time for closure, turn your idea of failure into celebration.
  Celebrate the time you had together and make room for your next adventure.
  

It's important to recognize when fear comes up.
Fear is a normal part of our everyday experience.
During traumatic times of our lives, such as divorce, fear will be more prominent.
Recognize fear for what it is and take steps to move through it.
In this way you can begin your healing and set yourself up for your new, magical life.