In our heart of hearts we know there is no magic wand that can make painful emotions vanish.
Divorce, the ending of a relationship, brings them all to the forefront, too - hurt, frustration, guilt, despondency.
Yet, it would be nice, wouldn't it? Just a breezy wave, a few sparkles, and relief! Yet, we aren't completely without tactics as we face our emotional foes.
We may not have wands at the ready, but there are still things we can throw at them to weaken their strength; we can "contain" them so they can't attack us with impunity.
One of the sticks and stones in our arsenal is, of all things, exercise.
Yes, I said it! Exercise! When you hear the word exercise, what group do you fall in? Enthusiast or excuse-iast? "I don't have time for exercise!" Or, "I don't FEEL like it today.
" Or, "I don't like joining clubs and exercising in public.
" Or, "Gee, the timing never seems right - it's too early, it's too late, I just ate, I'm getting ready to eat, I don't want to have to shower again today, I'm watching an eclipse tonight...
" To those of you who have incorporated exercise faithfully into your daily lives we salute you! You are doing one of the most important things you can do for yourself when traveling through a stressful time like divorce, and really, life in general.
Why this big deal about exercise, especially during a divorce? Oh, there are, of course, the usual reasons I could toss out there: exercise burns fat - after all, you can't put a pat of butter in a pan and expect it to melt if the burner isn't on, can you? Exercise increases your metabolism - which apparently, if not given attention, sulks, and slows itself down just for kicks, leaving fat to fend for itself on the side of the road.
Exercise tightens up loose things - thereby giving you rights to claim you are "green", because your effort saved a rubber tree or bag of chemicals from being turned into a tight piece of body elastic to shore up your loose things.
BUT, there is more! Exercise also aids your body in the release of certain chemicals, which in turn can help make you feel better.
You have at your fingertips your own little spigot that you can turn on whenever you want to get these "feel good" chemicals going in your body...
free...
whenever you want...
can't beat that deal! Exercise is a positive distraction from your negative thoughts and feelings.
It's very hard to engage in a bout of self-pity when you are panting and trying not to hit the china cabinet with your arms that happen to be flailing around while you do jumping jacks.
Exercise helps you rebuild your confidence, and right now your confidence has probably taken its worst beating.
Exercise links feeling better with looking better in a dance of lead, follow, swish and swirl.
Does exercise have to be done exclusively at a gym? Absolutely not! Does exercise require sweat to pour down your face in order to be called exercise? Heavens, no! Does it require garish, expensive contraptions, looking suspiciously like home versions of those things used in the Spanish Inquisition? Certainly not! Exercise, reduced to its essence, is simply movement, that is all.
Move bits of you around and you are exercising.
What you want to do, however, is move your bits around with focus and repetition.
Laying on the couch watching television? Get up and walk in place while you watch.
Flap your arms up and down, kick your feet a little bit.
Grab a couple of cans of pork'n beans out of the cupboard and give yourself some weights for those arms.
I don't recommend cans of soda...
Every day for 30 minutes to an hour, exercise while you watch your favorite program.
Stuck at home? Turn your house or apartment into a walking trail for 30 minutes a day.
Down hallways, around couches.
Walk as fast as you can manage.
Try to touch the tops of door jams, swing your arms, shadow box.
Or, put on happy music and dance! It doesn't have to be pretty, no one's looking! If you have little children, they can join too.
They're too young to know your dancing style would never make it through a talent contest! And they'll have fun, too! Sitting in a cubicle? Try leg lifts and stretches, elbow lifts, arm reaches over your monitor.
Lift yourself off your chair a few times in a row throughout the day.
Now that's a real eye opener - and incentive to cut back on that latte with the extra fatty topping! The point is you don't need anything to exercise except you.
You don't need to be anywhere special to do it and you don't need anything special to do it with.
You can break it up into 6 ten minute sessions a day if you wanted to, it's length and timing is completely up to you.
You don't even have to sweat, if you don't want to.
(Of course, with any exercise program be sure it fits with your doctor's recommendations.
) What you gain in return when you exercise is an improved outlook, something to look forward to, better health, and a break from some of your more serious thoughts and heavier emotions.
Be honest - these are some really good benefits to have on the home team, aren't they?! You can do it! Try it and see!