One of the most critical elements in a superior quality relationship with your wife is respect.
And when you don't know what you are doing, it can also be one of the most difficult things to get.
If you've haven't been commanding the kind of respect from your woman you deserve because quite simply you just did not know what to do, this article is going to start to change all that.
The process of getting respect is simple.
First, you need to identify the things you are doing that lose you respect.
Then, identify the things you are not doing that would win you more respect.
Finally, you need to develop the habit of preferentially doing things from the second list in place of things from the former list.
And to get you started, I'll give you a list of my top five changes you can make immediately that in my experience make the biggest difference in your life.
1.
Learn what it is you want.
I appreciate that this is a big step.
This is not something you can just pull out a piece of paper and jot it down in a couple minutes or even a couple of hours.
However, I encourage you to not spend all week or month on it.
You have time to refine this later.
You are not going to be graded on this.
You are allowed to be wrong.
What you can't afford to do is spend any more time trying to find the perfect pursuit or waiting for it to fall into your lap.
You gotta get moving on something.
Anything.
In fact, it might be best to just assume that this first one you choose is wrong.
But pursue it anyways.
2.
Now respect yourself by making time to pursue it.
This is the key to respect.
The ability to respect yourself is all there is.
Once you get this, most other people will respect you automatically.
But some still won't.
But it won't matter because you won't care.
Because you are no longer using other people to measure your worth or feel something.
And the secret step to getting respect from yourself is the physical act of making and taking time to do something that you find important.
3.
Make decisions based on what you want and not on impressing others.
This is just as critical to your self respect as pursuing what you want.
And for that reason I would encourage you to not tell anyone about what you are pursuing.
Do it privately.
Develop a secret identity around it.
It will all be revealed in good time.
Just right now you need to make sure you are doing it for all the right reasons.
And that means making sure you are doing it to scratch an itch inside of you and you alone.
4.
Switch where you get your meaning from your relationship to pursuing the difference you want to make in the world.
All men are driven by the need for meaning.
Researchers have show this drive to be more powerful that all others including sex, food and self-preservation.
Many married men make the mistake of burdening their relationship with the weight of their meaning.
Do that and your relationship will crumble and die.
Relationships are enjoyable pastimes and growth opportunities.
They are not meant to bear the meaning search of man.
5.
Start immediately.
If you delay this you will suffer for it.
I know.
I have been there.
So get started.
You'll make mistakes.
You'll look like a fool from time to time.
But you will get there.
You will get to that place where the actions you take will have power behind them.
The things you do will have that special quality that only comes to someone who believes in himself.
6.
Question Everything in your life from the perspective of does it serve my purpose? Once you start to pursue the difference you are meant to make in the world this will happen automatically.
The things that make your purpose more clear and are aligned with it will find themselves drawn to you and your path.
And the ones that differ from yours will find themselves drifting away.
This includes wives.
And when you don't know what you are doing, it can also be one of the most difficult things to get.
If you've haven't been commanding the kind of respect from your woman you deserve because quite simply you just did not know what to do, this article is going to start to change all that.
The process of getting respect is simple.
First, you need to identify the things you are doing that lose you respect.
Then, identify the things you are not doing that would win you more respect.
Finally, you need to develop the habit of preferentially doing things from the second list in place of things from the former list.
And to get you started, I'll give you a list of my top five changes you can make immediately that in my experience make the biggest difference in your life.
1.
Learn what it is you want.
I appreciate that this is a big step.
This is not something you can just pull out a piece of paper and jot it down in a couple minutes or even a couple of hours.
However, I encourage you to not spend all week or month on it.
You have time to refine this later.
You are not going to be graded on this.
You are allowed to be wrong.
What you can't afford to do is spend any more time trying to find the perfect pursuit or waiting for it to fall into your lap.
You gotta get moving on something.
Anything.
In fact, it might be best to just assume that this first one you choose is wrong.
But pursue it anyways.
2.
Now respect yourself by making time to pursue it.
This is the key to respect.
The ability to respect yourself is all there is.
Once you get this, most other people will respect you automatically.
But some still won't.
But it won't matter because you won't care.
Because you are no longer using other people to measure your worth or feel something.
And the secret step to getting respect from yourself is the physical act of making and taking time to do something that you find important.
3.
Make decisions based on what you want and not on impressing others.
This is just as critical to your self respect as pursuing what you want.
And for that reason I would encourage you to not tell anyone about what you are pursuing.
Do it privately.
Develop a secret identity around it.
It will all be revealed in good time.
Just right now you need to make sure you are doing it for all the right reasons.
And that means making sure you are doing it to scratch an itch inside of you and you alone.
4.
Switch where you get your meaning from your relationship to pursuing the difference you want to make in the world.
All men are driven by the need for meaning.
Researchers have show this drive to be more powerful that all others including sex, food and self-preservation.
Many married men make the mistake of burdening their relationship with the weight of their meaning.
Do that and your relationship will crumble and die.
Relationships are enjoyable pastimes and growth opportunities.
They are not meant to bear the meaning search of man.
5.
Start immediately.
If you delay this you will suffer for it.
I know.
I have been there.
So get started.
You'll make mistakes.
You'll look like a fool from time to time.
But you will get there.
You will get to that place where the actions you take will have power behind them.
The things you do will have that special quality that only comes to someone who believes in himself.
6.
Question Everything in your life from the perspective of does it serve my purpose? Once you start to pursue the difference you are meant to make in the world this will happen automatically.
The things that make your purpose more clear and are aligned with it will find themselves drawn to you and your path.
And the ones that differ from yours will find themselves drifting away.
This includes wives.