During marriage counseling, my boyfriend and I were told that we will fight eventually.
I took one look at my love and thought, "Naaaahhh.
" A few months after the wedding, it happened.
We argued.
I told him how scatterbrained and disorganized he was about it.
He said I was too rigid and needed to be more flexible.
The issue: planning our long weekend break.
How could this happen? How could I be in conflict with my soul mate? Do marriage relationships need to be peppered with arguments? Later that evening, after the routine chores have somewhat cooled our tempers, we held each other and looked at the issue anew.
While we didn't resolve to never fight again, we resolved to be better in dealing with the differences.
Here's our little formula: 1.
Cool down - Clear your mind.
Force yourself to see the bigger picture and to see the other person's perspective.
2.
Forgive - That rule in kindergarten still applies.
Say you're sorry immediately.
Forgiveness diminishes pride and strengthens your bond.
3.
Pray - We hold hands whenever we pray.
We hold tighter when we know something's not right.
A fight or even the stresses of everyday life can take it's toll on you.
Worse, it may lead you to take it out on your partner.
Praying helps us tap into the eternal source of love.
4.
Go for Round Two - This time, we're ready to listen, to compromise and to solve the issue together.
It's a rather simplistic method, but it's working out for our marriage.
If there's a good thing that comes out of a fight, is that a well-resolved conflict fortifies relationships.
And finding love does not end at the exchange of rings.
It's a process you enter into each day.