Trust is a crucial ingredient in any relationship, especially a lifetime commitment such as a marriage.
It is oftentimes referred to as the glue that holds two people together.
Trust brings any relationship to a deeper, more intimate level and can very well be the most important tool in resolving differences and conflicts when they arise.
But just as it is a valuable element, so is it one of the most difficult to work at and develop.
Trusting another person, or trusting your spouse means placing yourself in the position of relying on others to treat you in a fair, nonjudgmental and honest way.
It means accepting yourself as you accept the other person in the relationship.
And if the person who comes into the marriage have trouble developing trust in his or her spouse then this can be a big problem.
What are some of the reasons why a person has problems trusting? - They could have experienced a great deal of emotional and/or physical abuse or hurt in the past.
Because of this, they are not willing to risk getting hurt or abused again.
- They have been in troubled relationships where they were ignored, misunderstood or their confidences were betrayed by the other person - They have experienced the pain of losing a loved one through death.
As such they close up on themselves for fear of being left alone or abandoned - They may have come from a broken family or whose parents have separated or divorced.
Divorce can be a traumatic experience and so they think that the bitter lesson from it is to not trust anyone so they will not get hurt in the future.
So if one or both of you has any of these reasons and are already in a marriage, it's high time to take serious steps and develop the trust.
Here are some ways by which you can begin to improve trust building in your marriage: - Foster a healing and comfortable environment in the home.
This means the couple are conscious of making each other relaxed enough to talk about anything and everything that bothers them without the fear of being judged or criticized.
There is involvement from both partners - they ask questions that will encourage the other to open up, they relate their own experiences and listen to each other fully and with empathy.
A healing environment will help both parties develop an intimate bond and a growing conviction that they can lean on each other for support.
This will eventually lead to trust.
- Be consistent in your words and actions towards one another.
Building trust means developing confidence in each other.
So when you communicate to each other, mean what you say and say what you mean.
This will help your spouse know that your intentions match your message, and that you are reliable enough to follow through on your words as well with your actions.
- Let go of your own fears.
Fear is the ultimate obstacle to building trust.
It can restrict your action with others.
Letting go can free you from all the mental and emotional constraints that limit your intimacy with your spouse.
Realize that your partner may also have some fears of their own and it will be a good exercise for both of you to learn how to let go of them slowly but surely.
It is oftentimes referred to as the glue that holds two people together.
Trust brings any relationship to a deeper, more intimate level and can very well be the most important tool in resolving differences and conflicts when they arise.
But just as it is a valuable element, so is it one of the most difficult to work at and develop.
Trusting another person, or trusting your spouse means placing yourself in the position of relying on others to treat you in a fair, nonjudgmental and honest way.
It means accepting yourself as you accept the other person in the relationship.
And if the person who comes into the marriage have trouble developing trust in his or her spouse then this can be a big problem.
What are some of the reasons why a person has problems trusting? - They could have experienced a great deal of emotional and/or physical abuse or hurt in the past.
Because of this, they are not willing to risk getting hurt or abused again.
- They have been in troubled relationships where they were ignored, misunderstood or their confidences were betrayed by the other person - They have experienced the pain of losing a loved one through death.
As such they close up on themselves for fear of being left alone or abandoned - They may have come from a broken family or whose parents have separated or divorced.
Divorce can be a traumatic experience and so they think that the bitter lesson from it is to not trust anyone so they will not get hurt in the future.
So if one or both of you has any of these reasons and are already in a marriage, it's high time to take serious steps and develop the trust.
Here are some ways by which you can begin to improve trust building in your marriage: - Foster a healing and comfortable environment in the home.
This means the couple are conscious of making each other relaxed enough to talk about anything and everything that bothers them without the fear of being judged or criticized.
There is involvement from both partners - they ask questions that will encourage the other to open up, they relate their own experiences and listen to each other fully and with empathy.
A healing environment will help both parties develop an intimate bond and a growing conviction that they can lean on each other for support.
This will eventually lead to trust.
- Be consistent in your words and actions towards one another.
Building trust means developing confidence in each other.
So when you communicate to each other, mean what you say and say what you mean.
This will help your spouse know that your intentions match your message, and that you are reliable enough to follow through on your words as well with your actions.
- Let go of your own fears.
Fear is the ultimate obstacle to building trust.
It can restrict your action with others.
Letting go can free you from all the mental and emotional constraints that limit your intimacy with your spouse.
Realize that your partner may also have some fears of their own and it will be a good exercise for both of you to learn how to let go of them slowly but surely.