When you break up, or get a divorce, it is rarely as easy as repeating, "I divorce you," and walking away.
There is an untangling that must occur, even if it is just an emotional event.
This untangling of two lives is both emotionally painful and physically challenging.
A huge niche of law is devoted to it if you were married and now want a divorce.
If you think you can escape the effects of divorce, it is doubtful.
Even divorce's version of a drive through window, no contest divorces, aren't that easy; and they can't salve wounded pride or fully restore belongings to their original state.
Your divorce is going to affect you and your life on many levels.
While parts of you may wish you could hand over all of the details of the separation between you and your partner, the reality is there's no one out there who can do the job for you.
You will have to address certain issues on your own.
One of the effects of divorce is you will have to face things left behind or gaps where things used to be.
Objects, property, habits, lost friends, are some of the line items found on this list.
Another effect of divorce is it is an experience that is now a part of you.
You will always be aware on some level there was major change in your life.
You will carry emotional scars depending on the severity of the loss.
We're like hermit crabs traveling inside our carbuncle covered shells; each carbuncle something of import.
Your divorce has put you in a new place; your life has changed.
Even if you are physically living in the same place, it is not the same.
How well you adapt to change may make this one of the most difficult effects of divorce to deal with.
What are some of the things you can do to deal with these effects of divorce? 1.
Let go of shared objects if you can.
2.
Remove any personal belongings; give back to spouse or send to charity.
3.
Sleep some place else on the bed; rearrange nightstands.
4.
Replace things that may have attached memories with similar but different objects.
5.
Change habits that were formed to accommodate your partner.
6.
Compartmentalize memories that cause you pain.
7.
Move.
8.
Rearrange cupboards, closets, drawers and furniture so they all have a new look and feel.
9.
Do inner work on your thoughts and feelings.
10.
Make new friends.
11.
Get involved; get out of the house.
How you recover from your breakup or divorce is predicated on how well you deal with the above effects of divorce.
Know that time works in your favor.
Human beings are resilient creatures.
Our memories fade over time and painful emotions eventually lose the sharp, gut wrenching intensity they used to generate.
You can better handle your situation if you will assess for yourself where you are the weakest and work to shore up those weaknesses.
Still emotional? Seek counseling.
Read self-help articles and books.
Take steps to deal better with your emotions.
Still feeling set adrift? Ask yourself why.
Sit down and prepare a one year/five year plan.
Where do you want to be in one year? Really focus on what you want your new life to look like.
Have some fun with it.
Unsure of how to make it, financially? Make an appointment with a financial adviser and let them help you with a plan that will help you recover financially.
What effects of divorce you experience, and their extent, will depend on much, including the severity of your breakup, what you accumulated during the life of the relationship, whether or not there are children involved, etc.
The important point you should take away is that no one is immune from them.
So, go ahead, prepare yourself to tackle some of the more painful aspects on your own.
Playing a role in your recovery means the difference between a neatly stitched and healed wound and one that was left open and jagged.
Opt for the former, you're worth it.
There is an untangling that must occur, even if it is just an emotional event.
This untangling of two lives is both emotionally painful and physically challenging.
A huge niche of law is devoted to it if you were married and now want a divorce.
If you think you can escape the effects of divorce, it is doubtful.
Even divorce's version of a drive through window, no contest divorces, aren't that easy; and they can't salve wounded pride or fully restore belongings to their original state.
Your divorce is going to affect you and your life on many levels.
While parts of you may wish you could hand over all of the details of the separation between you and your partner, the reality is there's no one out there who can do the job for you.
You will have to address certain issues on your own.
One of the effects of divorce is you will have to face things left behind or gaps where things used to be.
Objects, property, habits, lost friends, are some of the line items found on this list.
Another effect of divorce is it is an experience that is now a part of you.
You will always be aware on some level there was major change in your life.
You will carry emotional scars depending on the severity of the loss.
We're like hermit crabs traveling inside our carbuncle covered shells; each carbuncle something of import.
Your divorce has put you in a new place; your life has changed.
Even if you are physically living in the same place, it is not the same.
How well you adapt to change may make this one of the most difficult effects of divorce to deal with.
What are some of the things you can do to deal with these effects of divorce? 1.
Let go of shared objects if you can.
2.
Remove any personal belongings; give back to spouse or send to charity.
3.
Sleep some place else on the bed; rearrange nightstands.
4.
Replace things that may have attached memories with similar but different objects.
5.
Change habits that were formed to accommodate your partner.
6.
Compartmentalize memories that cause you pain.
7.
Move.
8.
Rearrange cupboards, closets, drawers and furniture so they all have a new look and feel.
9.
Do inner work on your thoughts and feelings.
10.
Make new friends.
11.
Get involved; get out of the house.
How you recover from your breakup or divorce is predicated on how well you deal with the above effects of divorce.
Know that time works in your favor.
Human beings are resilient creatures.
Our memories fade over time and painful emotions eventually lose the sharp, gut wrenching intensity they used to generate.
You can better handle your situation if you will assess for yourself where you are the weakest and work to shore up those weaknesses.
Still emotional? Seek counseling.
Read self-help articles and books.
Take steps to deal better with your emotions.
Still feeling set adrift? Ask yourself why.
Sit down and prepare a one year/five year plan.
Where do you want to be in one year? Really focus on what you want your new life to look like.
Have some fun with it.
Unsure of how to make it, financially? Make an appointment with a financial adviser and let them help you with a plan that will help you recover financially.
What effects of divorce you experience, and their extent, will depend on much, including the severity of your breakup, what you accumulated during the life of the relationship, whether or not there are children involved, etc.
The important point you should take away is that no one is immune from them.
So, go ahead, prepare yourself to tackle some of the more painful aspects on your own.
Playing a role in your recovery means the difference between a neatly stitched and healed wound and one that was left open and jagged.
Opt for the former, you're worth it.