If your marriage to your ex spouse produced children then nothing is more important than maintaining a civil relationship with your ex. It is essential that all parents work together for the welfare of their children. If there is poor communication with your ex-spouse and resentment between the two of you, you are not the loser, your child / children is.
These tips will help you put aside any negative feelings you have toward your ex. Effort on your part to build a new and productive relationship with your ex will help all involved in the healing process and moving forward with life.
If you find that the two of you have a hard time discussing important issues regarding the children, seek help from a third party. Don?t be afraid to consult a therapist, a member of the clergy or a friend you both have a trusting relationship with.
Communicate with each other and set clear boundaries about the roles you will play in your child / children?s lives. It?s important that you each understand the value of your relationship to your child and respect that relationship.
When solving problems don?t bring up the past. Discuss the issue at hand and excuse yourself from the conversation if you are unable to remain calm and business like.
View your ex spouse the same way you would a business associate. Make appointments to discuss issues, meet in a neutral location and always be prompt and courteous.
Never allow yourself to resort to name calling, blaming, cursing or yelling. Keep negative emotions out of the equation and deal with them on your own time.
Be willing to see the situation from your ex?s perspective. They have concerns and fears just like you do and recognizing that will help you feel more empathetic and open to finding solutions to any problems that might arise.
Most importantly, always consider what your child / children would want. You may find it hard to even be around your ex but making the needs of your child / children your main priority will help establish the kind of relationship that benefits them.
These tips will help you put aside any negative feelings you have toward your ex. Effort on your part to build a new and productive relationship with your ex will help all involved in the healing process and moving forward with life.
1. Consult a Therapist:
If you find that the two of you have a hard time discussing important issues regarding the children, seek help from a third party. Don?t be afraid to consult a therapist, a member of the clergy or a friend you both have a trusting relationship with.
2. Set Clear Boundaries:
Communicate with each other and set clear boundaries about the roles you will play in your child / children?s lives. It?s important that you each understand the value of your relationship to your child and respect that relationship.
3. Don't Bring up Old Issues:
When solving problems don?t bring up the past. Discuss the issue at hand and excuse yourself from the conversation if you are unable to remain calm and business like.
View your ex spouse the same way you would a business associate. Make appointments to discuss issues, meet in a neutral location and always be prompt and courteous.
Never allow yourself to resort to name calling, blaming, cursing or yelling. Keep negative emotions out of the equation and deal with them on your own time.
4. Be Empathetic:
Be willing to see the situation from your ex?s perspective. They have concerns and fears just like you do and recognizing that will help you feel more empathetic and open to finding solutions to any problems that might arise.
5. Consider Your children:
Most importantly, always consider what your child / children would want. You may find it hard to even be around your ex but making the needs of your child / children your main priority will help establish the kind of relationship that benefits them.