In the Scriptures we can clearly see that God considers children precious and that He is concerned about their welfare.
Certainly there are many single-parent homes where the children are dearly loved and well cared for, based on great sacrifice and hard work by the single parent.
But we also know that children benefit from having two parents as they grow: Research clearly indicates that children living in a two-parent home, even a remarriage home, are significantly better off than children living in a single-parent home.
But the blending of families brings with it a special set of challenges.
Those of us who work with blended families invariably find ourselves drawn back to the issue of what's best for the children.
Simply stated, kids are better off with two parents than with one.
Be courageous and committed.
Blended families can work! Action Plan Below is a set of steps you can help the family-members take to adapt and function healthily as a blended family.
1.
Cope and mourn any family losses and transitions.
Persons in blended families, especially kids, should be able to share their feelings of loss and their memories of how things used to be.
These topics should never be taboo but encouraged! It should be acknowledged and respected that all members of the blended family will need time to feel normal again.
If a family member is having a hard time adjusting, it does not mean he/she does not care for the new person in the family.
2.
Understand kids development.
Members of blended families are not always 100 percent knowledgeable of the needs of family members.
This is especially true when kids are involved.
For example, a step-parent who has not had kids will probably not know what to do with a toddler, or a per-teen, or even a teenager.
And even is he/she has raised his/her own kids, they were likely quite different and did not experience the same challenges of the kids present in the blended family.
Parents and step-parents can help themselves and their children by learning about age and maturity level appropriate ways to raise children, and by studying ways to better build relationship with step-kids.
3.
Establish new family traditions.
While not rejecting the traditions of the previous family life or those of the non-custodial parent, it is good for the blended family to create some of its own family traditions.
This is important for building cohesion and a sense of unity in the family.
Note however that each member of the blended family has his/her own history, memories and perceptions and is being asked to merge and compromise them with those of other family members.
What was once familiar is being turned on its head: Christmas, Easter, Halloween, birthdays, vacations, etc.
Though it may seem like a small issue, family traditions are not easily surrendered by persons who have already gone through many other changes.
Final note, even as the family develops new traditions and rituals, visitation time with the biological parent should always be respected, especially during important events and holidays.
4.
Maintaining a healthy marriage.
Spouses must be intentional about keeping their marital partnership strong.
Instruct the couple to take time alone to love-on, show affection to, support, talk-to, be present with, and care for one another.
A strong marriage is a crucial part of the overall functioning and stability of the family.
5.
Cooperation with the biological parent.
If at all possible, include the non-custodial/biological parent in the life of the children.
Kids, especially teenagers, are greatly stabilized by seeing their parents unified.
For this, mom and dad should try to minimize contention especially in front of the kids.
Consistent parenting helps to alleviate children's insecurity following divorce.
Note: sometimes blended families occur because of the death of a parent.
Of course, in that situation, this step does not apply.
Telephone Psychologist can help out you.
Certainly there are many single-parent homes where the children are dearly loved and well cared for, based on great sacrifice and hard work by the single parent.
But we also know that children benefit from having two parents as they grow: Research clearly indicates that children living in a two-parent home, even a remarriage home, are significantly better off than children living in a single-parent home.
But the blending of families brings with it a special set of challenges.
Those of us who work with blended families invariably find ourselves drawn back to the issue of what's best for the children.
Simply stated, kids are better off with two parents than with one.
Be courageous and committed.
Blended families can work! Action Plan Below is a set of steps you can help the family-members take to adapt and function healthily as a blended family.
1.
Cope and mourn any family losses and transitions.
Persons in blended families, especially kids, should be able to share their feelings of loss and their memories of how things used to be.
These topics should never be taboo but encouraged! It should be acknowledged and respected that all members of the blended family will need time to feel normal again.
If a family member is having a hard time adjusting, it does not mean he/she does not care for the new person in the family.
2.
Understand kids development.
Members of blended families are not always 100 percent knowledgeable of the needs of family members.
This is especially true when kids are involved.
For example, a step-parent who has not had kids will probably not know what to do with a toddler, or a per-teen, or even a teenager.
And even is he/she has raised his/her own kids, they were likely quite different and did not experience the same challenges of the kids present in the blended family.
Parents and step-parents can help themselves and their children by learning about age and maturity level appropriate ways to raise children, and by studying ways to better build relationship with step-kids.
3.
Establish new family traditions.
While not rejecting the traditions of the previous family life or those of the non-custodial parent, it is good for the blended family to create some of its own family traditions.
This is important for building cohesion and a sense of unity in the family.
Note however that each member of the blended family has his/her own history, memories and perceptions and is being asked to merge and compromise them with those of other family members.
What was once familiar is being turned on its head: Christmas, Easter, Halloween, birthdays, vacations, etc.
Though it may seem like a small issue, family traditions are not easily surrendered by persons who have already gone through many other changes.
Final note, even as the family develops new traditions and rituals, visitation time with the biological parent should always be respected, especially during important events and holidays.
4.
Maintaining a healthy marriage.
Spouses must be intentional about keeping their marital partnership strong.
Instruct the couple to take time alone to love-on, show affection to, support, talk-to, be present with, and care for one another.
A strong marriage is a crucial part of the overall functioning and stability of the family.
5.
Cooperation with the biological parent.
If at all possible, include the non-custodial/biological parent in the life of the children.
Kids, especially teenagers, are greatly stabilized by seeing their parents unified.
For this, mom and dad should try to minimize contention especially in front of the kids.
Consistent parenting helps to alleviate children's insecurity following divorce.
Note: sometimes blended families occur because of the death of a parent.
Of course, in that situation, this step does not apply.
Telephone Psychologist can help out you.