How to Cope With Divorce
This relationship can turn one's world upside down and trigger all sorts of unsettling feelings. But remember there are many things you can do to get through this difficult time and move on.
To overcome divorce, it is important to accept ones reactions; you have to recognize that it is normal to have different feelings. It is natural to feel sad, angry, frustrated, confused and even anxious for the future. Even if the marriage was unhealthy, there were instances of shared dreams, commitment and romantic relationship. Allowing to feel the pain of these losses may be frightening. Remember that grieving is essential to the healing process; the pain of the grief is what helps you let go off the old relationship and move on.
When dealing with divorce surround yourself with honest and positive people; it is imperative to choose wisely when you consider reaching out to others. Spend time with people who support, value and energize you and who truly listen to you and also be honest about what you are going through without worrying about being criticized or told what to do.
Learning from your mistakes; to fully accept a breakup and move on, you need to understand what happened, acknowledging the part you played and understanding the choices you made affected the relationship so as to help you not repeat them. The emptiness in your life does not mean that what you are experiencing is not an opportunity to learn and grow from.
In instances where children are involved, it is critical to involve the children in a healthier manner. You have to reassure your kids that your divorce is not their fault. Listen to ease their concern and be compassionate but direct in your responses. Try to keep your kids daily and weekly routines as familiar and stable as possible. Offer consistent discipline thus making sure both parties agree in advance the children bedtime, curfews and other everyday decisions as well as any punishment. Let your children know that they can rely on you and don't involve them in your conflict and using them as spies for making them take sides.
Don't isolate yourself; sharing your feelings with family and friends can help you get through this challenging period. You can consider joining support group where you can talk to others in similar situations. Expressing your feeling can reduce the level of concentration and your overall health. Don't hesitate to get outside help if you need one because there is a saying ‘' a problem share is problem solved''.
Give yourself special treat; divorce is highly stressful, life changing event so it's more important than ever to take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, reduce work load if possible, join special interest club. You can also join place of worship to help minimize other sources of stress in your life. Learning to take care of your self can be one the most valuable lessons you learn following divorce .You can take the opportunity to explore new interest and activities that gives you a chance to enjoy life in here-and-now rather than dwelling in the past.