There are good reasons to get a divorce, but when you go into a marriage with the idea you can just get a divorce, you always have that thought in the back of your mind that you have an escape option if things don't work out.
Or "If it works-okay, otherwise it doesn't matter".
But look at all the potential hurt involved if you have a stormy marriage besides the hurt of the divorce itself.
Doesn't it make more sense to put more time into the pre-marriage relationship of dating and engagement instead of having all the problems after you say "I do"? Do you respect the person you want to spend your life with? Do their opinions matter? Does it occur to you that they have unique gifts in certain areas like cooking, bookkeeping etc.
, that you do not have? Does it bother you or your ego that they are better at something than you are? That person you supposedly love is a special person.
There is no one else in the world exactly like they are.
If you go in with this idea, then you won't be looking for something better after marriage.
You will respect and be thankful for that person.
If you are a control-type person, then you are dooming your marriage because you don't truly love someone if you have to control them.
They aren't going to fit into any preconceived mold you may have in your mind for them.
So, if you truly love them you won't try to control them because of your ego or any other reason.
Hopefully, you have matured enough before you say those vows in front of your friends and relatives, but if not, a big wake-up call is about to happen.
There are going to be hard times in your relationship where you may not like each other for a day or so, but if you love that person you will work through it.
And if you choose to do that, your commitment to the person as well as your relationship will be stronger because of what you have gone through together.
It's not about having your own way, it is about working together toward a common goal--to make your relationship better after each time of trial you go through as one unit, together.
When unexpected things happen, you can fight about it with that person and maybe burn a bridge in the process.
Or you can sit down and work it out together in a rational manner.
There are going to be a lot of these in different sizes, so be prepared.
Marriage, and all relationships really, are about building bridges of understanding and love between each other, not burning them.
If you insist on continually burning bridges between you, then you will be headed toward divorce sooner than later.
What is your marriage's foundation? Sex? A good time? If these and other reasons for marriage are its foundation, then you might as well sign the divorce papers now before you reach the altar.
Marriage is not about either of these.
You are not going to have a good time always as a married person or in any other relationship.
Marriage is hard work sometimes when the bills don't get paid on time or the car won't start or a myriad of other circumstances.
If you truly love that person, sex is the "gravy" of the relationship, not the mashed potatoes.
It is the dessert, not the main course.
Does God have any part in your relationship? How does this happen? Because as you live your daily lives, you build that relationship brick by brick.
So sex becomes an expression between you of the love and respect and other positive ingredients you put into that relationship every day, not just in the bedroom.
The more of your relationship you give to God to lead you in, the happier you will be, because the foundation is solid if you do it his way, not yours.
The New Testament in the Bible has much to teach you about what God wants for your marriage, if you want him there.
But if you don't want him in your relationship, then you have no business complaining or blaming him when the relationship doesn't work out because you chose to shut him out.
You have a free choice in this matter.
He created you with a free will to accept or reject him.
You have a lot to think about now.
These words are not meant to keep you from marriage but to give you something to think about before you make the commitment, not after Be sure to talk to each other about these subjects and evaluate maturity, respect and other subjects between you, not just for yourself.
It hurts a lot more when you learn these and other things after the marriage has dissolved, and what happened between the wedding day and the day the divorce is final.
If you truly love each other you will want to count the cost before you say those beautiful words in front of so many people.
The more costs you can think about now, the less you will have to think about them and be hurt over later on.
Or "If it works-okay, otherwise it doesn't matter".
But look at all the potential hurt involved if you have a stormy marriage besides the hurt of the divorce itself.
Doesn't it make more sense to put more time into the pre-marriage relationship of dating and engagement instead of having all the problems after you say "I do"? Do you respect the person you want to spend your life with? Do their opinions matter? Does it occur to you that they have unique gifts in certain areas like cooking, bookkeeping etc.
, that you do not have? Does it bother you or your ego that they are better at something than you are? That person you supposedly love is a special person.
There is no one else in the world exactly like they are.
If you go in with this idea, then you won't be looking for something better after marriage.
You will respect and be thankful for that person.
If you are a control-type person, then you are dooming your marriage because you don't truly love someone if you have to control them.
They aren't going to fit into any preconceived mold you may have in your mind for them.
So, if you truly love them you won't try to control them because of your ego or any other reason.
Hopefully, you have matured enough before you say those vows in front of your friends and relatives, but if not, a big wake-up call is about to happen.
There are going to be hard times in your relationship where you may not like each other for a day or so, but if you love that person you will work through it.
And if you choose to do that, your commitment to the person as well as your relationship will be stronger because of what you have gone through together.
It's not about having your own way, it is about working together toward a common goal--to make your relationship better after each time of trial you go through as one unit, together.
When unexpected things happen, you can fight about it with that person and maybe burn a bridge in the process.
Or you can sit down and work it out together in a rational manner.
There are going to be a lot of these in different sizes, so be prepared.
Marriage, and all relationships really, are about building bridges of understanding and love between each other, not burning them.
If you insist on continually burning bridges between you, then you will be headed toward divorce sooner than later.
What is your marriage's foundation? Sex? A good time? If these and other reasons for marriage are its foundation, then you might as well sign the divorce papers now before you reach the altar.
Marriage is not about either of these.
You are not going to have a good time always as a married person or in any other relationship.
Marriage is hard work sometimes when the bills don't get paid on time or the car won't start or a myriad of other circumstances.
If you truly love that person, sex is the "gravy" of the relationship, not the mashed potatoes.
It is the dessert, not the main course.
Does God have any part in your relationship? How does this happen? Because as you live your daily lives, you build that relationship brick by brick.
So sex becomes an expression between you of the love and respect and other positive ingredients you put into that relationship every day, not just in the bedroom.
The more of your relationship you give to God to lead you in, the happier you will be, because the foundation is solid if you do it his way, not yours.
The New Testament in the Bible has much to teach you about what God wants for your marriage, if you want him there.
But if you don't want him in your relationship, then you have no business complaining or blaming him when the relationship doesn't work out because you chose to shut him out.
You have a free choice in this matter.
He created you with a free will to accept or reject him.
You have a lot to think about now.
These words are not meant to keep you from marriage but to give you something to think about before you make the commitment, not after Be sure to talk to each other about these subjects and evaluate maturity, respect and other subjects between you, not just for yourself.
It hurts a lot more when you learn these and other things after the marriage has dissolved, and what happened between the wedding day and the day the divorce is final.
If you truly love each other you will want to count the cost before you say those beautiful words in front of so many people.
The more costs you can think about now, the less you will have to think about them and be hurt over later on.