Marriage Maintenance - for the Long Haul
Here are a few tips:
* Invest in redefining the lines of connection... what originally brought you and your partner together?
* Build togetherness based on mutual identification, shared intimacy and an expanded conscience.
* IMPORTANT: Establish a rich and pleasurable sexual relationship and protect it from the incursions of the workplace and family obligations.
* Embrace the daunting roles of parenthood as a SHARED team.
* Maintain the strength of the marital bond in the face of adversity and create a safe haven within the marriage.
* Use humor and laughter to keep things in perspective... more important than most people realize.
* Satisfying each partner's need for dependency and offer continuing encouragement and support.
* Keep alive the romantic, idealized images of falling in love, while facing the sober realities of the changes brought on by time.
These things aren't easy (nor impossible) to do but in order for a relationship to work out, couples should realize the importance of their partner and their marriage.
Couples should have a sound foundation based on attributes they define, such as:
* Be Realistic.
* Do not take one another for granted.
* Be honest.
* Support one another's goals and achievements.
* Respect each other.
* Take time to share dreams and goals on a regular basis with your spouse.
* Consider daily dialogue as a means of improving your communication.
* Laugh together at least once a day.
* Fight fair - get an objective 3rd party - not a lawyer.
* Be willing to forgive.
* Remember kindness towards each other is a great gift.
* Share your daily expectations - you will be surprised how soon you and your partner are in sync.
* Make decisions about finances, disciplining the children, chores, vacations, etc., together.
* Take time to be alone together working on your intimacy. Schedule dates or romantic getaways.
Marriage, like any other worthwhile endeavors, requires patience and practice. When there is difficulty, it may be best to seek outside help. Just as a business may require a consultant, so too your marriage. Today's marriages are more than just two people living under the same roof. They are complex and dynamic entities that become even more complex as children enter the picture. Maintaining a marriage is easier that fixing a marriage or divorcing from a marriage.