Separated But Living In The Same House - Redefining Roles!
Living in the same house with your husband or wife while getting a divorce is a great idea financially.
If you can get past the fact that you will be seeing your ex every day then you will be able to start your new arrangement.
Draw up a schedule so you both know what needs to be done like laundry, housework, cooking and taking the kids to school.
Depending on your situation there may be some redefining of roles, as you are now independent of each other.
A wife who has had to do everything in the past may now want a more shared approach to the household chores.
By keeping the lines of communication open it is hoped you will be able to make the necessary changes.
Separate bedrooms will avoid confusion and give you both some personal space.
This could at times become a retreat when things get stressful.
There are couples that continue to sleep in the same bed together and for them this probably works but it could send the wrong message to a partner who is hoping that the marriage can resurrected.
Sorting out the finances could prove an issue because now that you are separated you should have separate bank accounts.
You may want to keep one joint account for the mortgage, insurance and other important bills but it is important for your self-esteem and independence that you have your own money.
In today's world women demand equality within the framework of a marriage unlike in times gone by when the husband seemed to keep control of the purse strings.
Many women who divorced in that time had no knowledge of how their husband was spending their money and sadly some of these women ended up with nothing once the divorce was finalized.
If a wife is at home looking after a baby or young children she should be given an allowance so she has money of her own.
Just because her soon to be ex husband is working does not make her contribution to the family unit any less in value.
If a couple are separated but living in the same house this is a fair way of doing things.
Of course it will depend on their financial situation as some couples are struggling to survive.
Now that you are operating as single people you will need to devise some rules so each ex partner feels comfortable.
An example of this could be dating new people and whether you both think it is acceptable to bring them home or see them on neutral territory.
Boundary setting enables a system to work, as each person knows what is acceptable to the other.
Focus on the future and the benefits of living this way.
For one thing you can save money, as the cost of two residences would put a huge dent in your current lifestyle and in these tough times that might be something you appreciate holding onto.
Try not to look back at the marriage unless you believe you can fix what was broken.
Many couples say that once they live together without the husband and wife tag on them they become more relaxed.
For some couples some time out may be all they need while others will eventually divorce.
If you can get past the fact that you will be seeing your ex every day then you will be able to start your new arrangement.
Draw up a schedule so you both know what needs to be done like laundry, housework, cooking and taking the kids to school.
Depending on your situation there may be some redefining of roles, as you are now independent of each other.
A wife who has had to do everything in the past may now want a more shared approach to the household chores.
By keeping the lines of communication open it is hoped you will be able to make the necessary changes.
Separate bedrooms will avoid confusion and give you both some personal space.
This could at times become a retreat when things get stressful.
There are couples that continue to sleep in the same bed together and for them this probably works but it could send the wrong message to a partner who is hoping that the marriage can resurrected.
Sorting out the finances could prove an issue because now that you are separated you should have separate bank accounts.
You may want to keep one joint account for the mortgage, insurance and other important bills but it is important for your self-esteem and independence that you have your own money.
In today's world women demand equality within the framework of a marriage unlike in times gone by when the husband seemed to keep control of the purse strings.
Many women who divorced in that time had no knowledge of how their husband was spending their money and sadly some of these women ended up with nothing once the divorce was finalized.
If a wife is at home looking after a baby or young children she should be given an allowance so she has money of her own.
Just because her soon to be ex husband is working does not make her contribution to the family unit any less in value.
If a couple are separated but living in the same house this is a fair way of doing things.
Of course it will depend on their financial situation as some couples are struggling to survive.
Now that you are operating as single people you will need to devise some rules so each ex partner feels comfortable.
An example of this could be dating new people and whether you both think it is acceptable to bring them home or see them on neutral territory.
Boundary setting enables a system to work, as each person knows what is acceptable to the other.
Focus on the future and the benefits of living this way.
For one thing you can save money, as the cost of two residences would put a huge dent in your current lifestyle and in these tough times that might be something you appreciate holding onto.
Try not to look back at the marriage unless you believe you can fix what was broken.
Many couples say that once they live together without the husband and wife tag on them they become more relaxed.
For some couples some time out may be all they need while others will eventually divorce.