Brian's life turned upside down after he discovered Katherine's affair.
He couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat and his normal routines were completely disrupted.
His emotions swung wildly from numbness to intense anxiety and depression.
Normally he turned to Katherine for help, but now she seemed like a stranger.
He had no idea how to get his emotions and life back under control.
They wanted to save their marriage but decided to separate for a time to sort things out and see if they could ever get back together Katherine was consumed with guilt over her affair, lying awake at night, tormented by thoughts of the pain she had caused her family.
At the same time, she was furious at Brian for the pain and feeling of rejection he had caused by abandoning her for his countless golf tournaments.
When they tried to discuss their situation, this combination of pain and anger was so overwhelming that Katherine would often lose control and scream at Brian.
These outbursts only made things worse, but neither of them knew how to break out of this cycle.
When you are worried and wondering whether you can survive, thinking about things like eating well, getting exercise can seem trivial.
Yet that's what you need to do.
The days and weeks following the discovery of an affair or a break-up can be emotionally traumatic and chaotic.
Taking care of yourself is all the more difficult in times of acute stress.
Self care is critical but right now it may seem like just one more heavy burden.
Help is available and you can work through the sadness and experience the final magic of making up.
But you must give yourself time.
Come to see self-care as critical to your recovery, even if you don't feel you have the time to pursue it or don't feel you deserve to take time for yourself because of your guilt, shame, or lowered self-esteem.
Figure out how to make it through the day in a healthy manner.
Identify ways you can increase your current levels of self-care in specific areas - physical, social, emotional, and spiritual - all of which will help you manage stress better.
Consider whether you need to bring in additional sources of help.
Failure to take care of yourself will inevitably make things worse.
Research on the mind-body connection clearly shows that failure to eat well and get adequate sleep leads to a decreased ability to regulate one's emotions.
Lack of sleep impairs awareness, clouds decision-making ability, and leads to more difficulty in coping with strong feelings.
Lack of sleep, poor nutrition, inadequate social support - all lead to increased emotional and physical difficulties.
If you want to save your relationship, you need to be strong.
So the bottom line is this: If you don't take care of yourself during this difficult recovery process, you'll likely to find both you and your relationship getting worse.
Good self-care helps to build up your resilience and strengthen you for the hard work that lies ahead in rebuilding your life and relationship.
When people's lives feel chaotic or stressful, their regular exercise routines are often the first thing sacrificed when, instead, exercise should probably be one of the top priorities.
You may feel too tired or worn out by daily stress - or by the intense emotions you're feeling to even contemplate exercising.
The lure of the couch may be hard to resist.
But you know what? You can't afford not to.
Use exercise to effectively regulate your mood, reduce feelings of anxiety and depression.
If exercise hasn't been part of your regular routine before start with small goals - for example, taking a brisk walk for 30 minutes daily.
Consider this is a time that demands extra care of something very important - your health.
Get positive encouragement and support now.
He couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat and his normal routines were completely disrupted.
His emotions swung wildly from numbness to intense anxiety and depression.
Normally he turned to Katherine for help, but now she seemed like a stranger.
He had no idea how to get his emotions and life back under control.
They wanted to save their marriage but decided to separate for a time to sort things out and see if they could ever get back together Katherine was consumed with guilt over her affair, lying awake at night, tormented by thoughts of the pain she had caused her family.
At the same time, she was furious at Brian for the pain and feeling of rejection he had caused by abandoning her for his countless golf tournaments.
When they tried to discuss their situation, this combination of pain and anger was so overwhelming that Katherine would often lose control and scream at Brian.
These outbursts only made things worse, but neither of them knew how to break out of this cycle.
When you are worried and wondering whether you can survive, thinking about things like eating well, getting exercise can seem trivial.
Yet that's what you need to do.
The days and weeks following the discovery of an affair or a break-up can be emotionally traumatic and chaotic.
Taking care of yourself is all the more difficult in times of acute stress.
Self care is critical but right now it may seem like just one more heavy burden.
Help is available and you can work through the sadness and experience the final magic of making up.
But you must give yourself time.
Come to see self-care as critical to your recovery, even if you don't feel you have the time to pursue it or don't feel you deserve to take time for yourself because of your guilt, shame, or lowered self-esteem.
Figure out how to make it through the day in a healthy manner.
Identify ways you can increase your current levels of self-care in specific areas - physical, social, emotional, and spiritual - all of which will help you manage stress better.
Consider whether you need to bring in additional sources of help.
Failure to take care of yourself will inevitably make things worse.
Research on the mind-body connection clearly shows that failure to eat well and get adequate sleep leads to a decreased ability to regulate one's emotions.
Lack of sleep impairs awareness, clouds decision-making ability, and leads to more difficulty in coping with strong feelings.
Lack of sleep, poor nutrition, inadequate social support - all lead to increased emotional and physical difficulties.
If you want to save your relationship, you need to be strong.
So the bottom line is this: If you don't take care of yourself during this difficult recovery process, you'll likely to find both you and your relationship getting worse.
Good self-care helps to build up your resilience and strengthen you for the hard work that lies ahead in rebuilding your life and relationship.
When people's lives feel chaotic or stressful, their regular exercise routines are often the first thing sacrificed when, instead, exercise should probably be one of the top priorities.
You may feel too tired or worn out by daily stress - or by the intense emotions you're feeling to even contemplate exercising.
The lure of the couch may be hard to resist.
But you know what? You can't afford not to.
Use exercise to effectively regulate your mood, reduce feelings of anxiety and depression.
If exercise hasn't been part of your regular routine before start with small goals - for example, taking a brisk walk for 30 minutes daily.
Consider this is a time that demands extra care of something very important - your health.
Get positive encouragement and support now.