Are you asking yourself - should I stay in my marriage? The answer as to whether to stay in your marriage depends on what is wrong with your marriage and why you think you should stay.
There are many reasons why marriages fall apart but there are common "themes".
For example, people just tend to drift apart and are living in loveless marriages.
Sometimes, people or circumstances change and the marriage cannot adapt to that change.
Partners may have affairs or develop serious problems such as alcohol or gambling addictions.
The most serious problem, of course, is abuse - physical, verbal or mental.
The first question you have to ask yourself is whether you or your children are in danger or whether you will suffer serious hardship (such as financial or legal) if the marriage continues.
If the answer to this question is yes, then you really do not have a choice and you should not stay in your marriage.
Consulting with an attorney for legal advice is an important step in determining whether you are at this point in your marriage.
The second question you have to ask yourself is, if the above is not true, can the problems in your marriage be resolved or can you save your marriage? In order to determine this, you need to pinpoint exactly what the issues are and work to resolve them.
You can either do this with your spouse or in counseling.
If your spouse will not seek marriage counseling with you, go by yourself.
Counseling is never a bad thing and, while it may not help your marriage, it certainly may help you in answering these questions.
If you truly want to save your marriage, then all options should be exhausted before you considering leaving.
The last question you need to ask yourself, if you have worked through the other two, is whether you can continue to live in your current state of existence.
Everyone has their breaking point and you will know when that is.
If you reach a point where you are so unhappy that you simply cannot bare to continue to live your life the way it is, then you know that you can no longer stay in your marriage.
You also need to ask yourself why you are staying.
If you are staying because you still hold out hope that your marriage can be saved, then you need to make sure you are continuing to work on the issues.
If there is no more progress to be made or if your spouse refuses to address them, then you have your answer as to whether the marriage can be saved and whether you should stay.
If you are staying because of finances, then you should consult with an attorney to see if this truly is an issue.
Some people only believe that they cannot financially afford a divorce because they are not aware of the support or property division laws in their state.
If you are staying because of the children, don't.
Children don't need parents who are together, they need parents who are healthy and happy.
There are many children of divorced parents who do just fine.
Deciding whether to divorce is a big decision and should not be taken lightly.
I encourage you to thoroughly work through the above questions before you take that last step.
If you have done that and you still feel that you can no longer stay in your marriage, you absolutely should consult with an attorney to find out what legal and financial effects a divorce will have on you.
Armed with all of this information, you can then answer the question of should I stay in my marriage.